Always There
by woodster93
Summary: Elliot leaving and never getting in touch with Olivia was something I just couldn't believe, and really pissed me off. What if they had been in touch and there was a reason why we never saw him and why Olivia didn't tell anyone. Slight crossover with NCIS. Give it a go I'm never any good with the summary. Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Olivia sat quietly in the back of the car looking out the window at the passing street life; she looked down at her hands they were still shaking. She tried to open the bottle of water to take a drink but she couldn't grip it hard enough to turn the top.

Fin turned around in his seat and looked back to her. "You okay Liv?" he asked her.

She nodded without speaking and went back to looking out the car window.

"She gonna be okay?" asked Nick quietly. "After what that bastard put her through….. It's a good job he is fucking dead."

"I don't know man," said Fin. "I mean how much more she can take," he shook his head and sighed before turning back around to look at her. She didn't look back as she kept her eyes on the passing street.

A single tear rolled down her face and she quickly wiped it away before either of them saw her, as she dropped her head against the window and closed her eyes. Her mind reliving the last day again.

She jumped when she heard the car door slam and looked around she hadn't realised they had arrived at her apartment.

"Come on Liv," said Fin" Let's get you inside," he said holding the car door open for her. She nodded and gave a little smile as she climbed out and walked up the steps to the door, followed by Nick and Fin. They were all silent as they got in the elevator and rode up to her floor nobody quite knowing what to say.

Olivia took her key from her pocket and opened the door entering her apartment. She threw her keys into the small bowl on the top of the cabinet her heart jumping when she saw what else was in there along with her keys and another set of keys. She quickly reached in and turned it over before Fin and Nick seen it and started to ask questions.

"You want us to get you anything to eat?" asked Fin as she sat down on the couch and Nick went into her kitchen and began to look around.

"A glass of wine?" he said opening the fridge.

"We could order in," said Fin looking down at her.

"No guys I'm fine," she said laying back, her eyes wandering over towards the bedroom door which was closed.

"You should drink something," said Nick still searching around in the kitchen. "You want us to call Cassidy?"

Olivia tried not to smile as she looked over at the bedroom door again.

"No…. I err…. I spoke to him already," she said, hoping the bedroom door would stay closed until they left.

"He coming over?" asked Fin as Nick joined him from the kitchen.

"No I'm fine," she told them taking the vodka from Nick and putting it on the table. She just wanted them to leave.

"One of us can stay if you like," said Nick standing next to Fin. "You shouldn't be alone right now."

_I won't be _she thought but instead said "I appreciate it, I think I just I just need some quiet. I just need to sleep; I'm due at IAB first thing in morning."

"You have a lawyer right?" said Nick.

Olivia glared at him getting defensive. "A lawyer, no for what for? Lewis shot himself," she said dropping her head back against the couch. "Know what he said to me?" she asked them both holding back the tears. "He said, I want this to be the last thing you see before you die. "

Fin and Nick just looked at her.

"Screw him," said Fin looking down at his friend and holding his temper. Nick looked between them both.

"Get some rest," he said turning away. Olivia dropped her head back against the arm of the couch again as she watched them leave. She climbed off the couch locking the door behind them before glancing back into the small bowl where her keys were, she picked up the small black wallet and ran her fingers over the gold shield.

"When did you get back?" she asked without turning around as she sensed someone behind her.

"About 15 minutes before you. I heard you talking outside the door and then heard Fins voice, thought it was best I hid in the bedroom, as they don't know I'm back yet."

She nodded as he wrapped his arms around her waist and dropped his head to her shoulder holding her tightly to him.

"Liv…"

"I'm so glad you came," she sobbed as she turned in his arms and held him tight as he pulled her to him.

"Its okay I got you," he said pulling her close to him and holding her as tight as he could without hurting her. "I would have come sooner. As soon as Gibbs found out he got me out of there and on the first plane back here," he whispered into her hair as he held her tight. "I was gonna come to the station but DiNozzo was there to meet me off the plane. He told me that you had been taken to the hospital and were getting released so I came straight here."

He kissed the side of her head as she sobbed in his arms.

"I was so scared when Gibbs told me baby. As soon as he saw the news and your confession he made some calls. He got in touch with me as soon as he found out Lewis had escaped…. But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere for a long time….I promise you. I should never have left you alone like that. I should have stayed with you instead of leaving. "

"You had no choice," she sniffed and rubbed her nose on his t-shirt. "You had a job to do. None of us could have known he would have got out of prison." She wiped her nose on his t-shirt again as she sniffed.

He looked down at her, "Did you just wipe your nose on my t-shirt?" he asked her trying to lighting the mood.

She nodded and looked up smiling at him. "You stink and are a mess anyway….. A little bit of snot from me isn't going to do any more harm."

"Well excuse me," he smiled. "But I never had time for a shower. Between getting extracted from the middle of Afghanistan and getting here I never found the time, and if were being honest…" he said sniffing. "You don't smell or look to hot yourself."

She looked up at his smiling face "God I love you," she said pulling his face to hers and kissing him. No matter what he always knew the right thing to say to calm her down and make her smile.

"I love you to," he said cupping her face. He kissed her nose and pushed her hair off her face. "You ready to tell me what happened?" he asked her as he looked her over.

She shook her head holding back the tears that were threatening to fall again.

"Can we do it later…. I will tell you, but right now I want to get cleaned up, have something to eat and a glass of something strong and sleep. I need to speak with Tucker in the morning and give my statement on what happened."

He nodded and kissed her lips softly. "Do you want me to come with you?"

She shook her head "No, I best do it alone."

"Okay if you're sure," he said not wanting to put any pressure on her.

She nodded and leant back into his chest.

"Just knowing you will be here when I get back is enough for me."

"Why don't you get in the bath, while I call Gibbs and let him know what has happened. Then I will join you in there, after I order something to eat and pour us a glass of wine….. Unless you want something stronger," he said looking at the large vodka Nick had poured.

"Sounds perfect and wine is good," she smiled, kissing him before she turned away and walked towards the bathroom. "Tell Gibbs thank you from me," she smiled at him before she disappeared.

He reached into his pocket and took out his phone and hit his speed dial and waited for an answer.

"Hi Boss," he said when Gibbs answered.

"How she doing?" he asked him.

"She hasn't talked yet, I'm not gonna push her, I know what that bastard put her through the first time…. I should… I should have been here," he said letting out a deep breath. "If I had he wouldn't have got to her."

"You couldn't have stopped it," said Gibbs. "She would have done anything she could to save that little girl and you know that, even if you had been here she would have gone after her and him."

"But I could have tried to stop her."

Gibbs laughed down the phone.

"Stop her. I've met her remember and she scared the hell out me the first time I went to see her…. and there aren't many women who do that… well apart from my ex-wives."

He was silent as Gibbs talked. "She needed closure. Sending Lewis to prison didn't give her the closure she needed after what happened in that beach house…. Everything was so screwed up, you know it was. She is tough and she will get through this, just give her time. And she will talk when she is ready."

"Yeah," he said. "I'm gonna go…. And I will call in a few days when everything settles. I might even try and persuade her to come to Washington for a few days, get away from work and the New York."

"Sounds like a good idea, I'm sure Abby would love to see her. I will only bring you back in if something major happens. Take care of her," he said before hanging up.

He threw the phone onto the couch and walked into the kitchen and poured them a large wine each and headed to the bathroom walking straight in. Olivia was already lying in the bath only her head was visible above the bubbles.

"Room in there for me," he asked as he began to undress after putting the wine down next to the bath. He pulled off his t-shirt and dropped his combat trousers to the floor.

"Always," she smiled moving forward as he slipped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "How long you home for?" she asked linking her fingers with hers.

"Gibbs said to take as long as I need, well unless something important turns up and he needs us all in."

"I will have to thank him," she said dropping her head back against his chest.

He took a drink of wine and handed Olivia her glass.

"You ready to tell me what happened yet?" he asked her.

"Not yet… but I will I promise, just let me relax and enjoy having you home."

"Liv… we really need to talk about it."

She turned around in his arms to face him. "I will but right now I need you to kiss me…. all I need is you El, you're the only one I have ever needed," she said as her lips met his.

**So what did you think worth carrying on or not? The story will involve a lot of flasbacks explaining what happened with Elliot and how they got back in touch with each other. Reviews and opinions please.**


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for all the kind words about the first chapter it made my day.

This chapter is going to have the first of many flashbacks. Hope you all continue to enjoy.

Chapter 2

"_**You ready to tell me what happened yet?" he asked her.**_

"_**Not yet… but I will I promise, just let me relax and enjoy having you home."**_

"_**Liv… we really need to talk about it."**_

_**She turned around in his arms to face him. "I will but right now I need you to kiss me…. all I need is you El, you're the only one I have ever needed," she said as her lips met his.**_

He kissed her lips softly wrapping his arms around her as the hot water lapped over their bodies.

"I missed you so much," she told him as she broke away from him. "I'm so glad you got home."

"There was no way I wasn't coming home not after last time; I should have been there then for you. I can't help but think if I had never left none of this would have happened."

"Baby it would have happened no matter what, we have talked about this over and over. What happened last time and this time is no bodies fault but William Lewis's."

"I know but…." She put her finger to his lips.

"Stop talking and take me to bed. I want to make love and fall asleep in your arms. I promise you I will tell you everything. But right now you are all I need," she smiled at him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**10 Months earlier.**

"Detective Benson."

Olivia turned around at the sound of her name. A young man in a suit came down the steps towards her.

"Can I help you?" she asked him.

He reached inside his jacket and took out his badge and held it up to her.

"Special Agent DiNozzo," he smiled at her.

"FBI?!

"NCIS," he told her still smiling. Despite the pain she was in she couldn't help but smile back at him.

"What can I do for you Special Agent DiNozzo?"

"I have been asked to come and pick you up; my boss needs to speak to you."

"Your Boss….. I don't see why anyone from NCIS would need to speak to me. What's it about?"

"I'm not allowed to say. I have my orders to take you to our office here in New York."

"Well until you tell me why, you can go to hell," she said starting to walk away.

She heard running footsteps behind her as he caught her up.

"I'm sorry but I really need you to come with me, I have been told it's very important. My Boss told me I couldn't take no for an answer. He said and I quote "_If she refuses to come with you arrest her"_

"You can't arrest me for refusing to come with you," she laughed. "So you can tell your Boss to go and screw himself," she said as she carried on walking.

"God he was so right about you," she heard him sigh from just behind her. "He said I would spend more time looking at your ass as you walked away more than anything else….."

Olivia stopped but didn't turn around.

"….. Mind you it is a cute ass, so I can't say I mind. I can follow you all day if I get to look at."

Olivia spun around "Who was right about me?"

"Sorry can't say, of course if you come with me my Boss will explain everything to you."

"Christ you must think I'm stupid. "

"I would never think that…. I do however think that you're going to come with me cause your dying inside to know what is going on," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Olivia looked at him. He gave a cheeky smile.

"Come on… it won't take long. Plus if I don't take you back with me its gonna mean a lot of pain for me…. from my boss," he said rubbing the back of his head.

Olivia sighed and looked at her watch. "Fine but it needs to be quick, I have somewhere to be," she told him as curiosity got the better of her.

"Great," he grinned. "And just for the record," he said leaning into her as he led her towards his car. "I know you don't have anywhere to be. You have just left you Shrink and you're not cleared to be back at work just yet, and you don't need to be back at the hospital to be checked out till Friday."

"How the hell…"

"Special Agent DiNozzo, Detective Benson…. I know everything," he said holding the door open as she got in.

He pulled away from the sidewalk into the traffic.

DiNozzo looked over to her. "I promise you, it's nothing bad," he said to her.

"Whatever, let's just get it over with so I can get home."

DiNozzo nodded. "I almost didn't recognise you; you have cut your hair."

She turned her head and glared at him.

"How did….."

"Saw you on the TV. You have been big news since that trouble with that Lewis guy….. You really kicked his ass though. I mean I heard you were tough but…you really showed him."

"Yeah," she said turning her head back to the window and sitting in silence. DiNozzo sensed she was upset and regretted bringing anything up.

"From what I heard he deserved what he got, in fact he deserved a lot more than what you gave him."

"I should have killed him," she said quietly. "I should have used my gun and put a bullet in his head."

DiNozzo gave her a final look before concentrating on the road ahead in silence.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Olivia followed him into the building and into the elevator up to the twentieth floor. He got out the elevator and led her to a room with few chairs and a table.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asked her.

She shook her head "No thanks," she mumbled. "How long do I have to wait for…?"

Before she could finish the door to the room reopened and a man a few years older than herself came in.

"Detective Benson," he said holding out his hand. "I'm Agent Gibbs, Leroy Gibbs."

"What no Special in the title?" she asked looking at DiNozzo.

Gibbs shook his head and smiled "Take a seat," he said to her.

"Why am I here?" she asked him as she sat down.

Gibbs looked over at DiNozzo "Go and check if SATNAV is ready," he told him. "And make sure the room is cleared."

DiNozzo nodded and left the room.

"SATNAV?" she asked.

"Our communication centre," he smiled. "How have you been after your ordeal?"

"Is that what this is about? Is it something to do with Lewis?"

"Sort of…. It will all become clear in a short while, I promise you."

"I just don't understand what NCIS could need me for; I haven't any connection with the Navy or anything."

Gibbs smiled at her. "Trust me you have more of a connection than you realise."

The door opened and DiNozzo stuck his head in. "All set Boss," he said smiling.

Gibbs nodded and stood up "Detective Benson if you would like to follow me."

"Please it's Olivia," she smiled at him. He nodded and led her from the room. As they walked down the corridor a young Gothic woman jumped up and down.

"Oh my god is that….."

Gibbs stared at her "Not now Abby."

"Oh okay," she said with a huge smile on her face and gave Olivia a little wave. Olivia couldn't help but smile and give a small wave back.

"Who is that? And why is she excited to see me."

"She is our analyst. She managed to talk me into letting her come with us so she could do some shopping. Apparently Washington doesn't have enough stores," he laughed. "And Abby is excited all of the time, it's not just you."

They entered a darkened room with a very large screen and a load of computers, but no people.

Gibbs turned to face Olivia. "All I am going to ask you is that you hear him out and listen to him…"

"Who?"

"He won't have long, maybe five minutes after that we will lose the link."

Olivia looked at him all confused.

"I don't understand…."

"You will," he smiled. "I will be outside," he said walking away pressing a button on the computer key pad as he did.

The large screen in front of Olivia began to flicker. She kept her eyes fixed to it as the screen settled. Her heart started racing and she felt her legs go weak at the large face that appeared before her. She reached out and rested her hand on the back of the chair next to her.

"Hey Liv," he nervously smiled at her. Olivia just stared unable to say anything at first. "Liv can you hear me?" he asked her as he reached forward and fiddled with something in front of him.

"Yeah," she said quietly as she swallowing hard. "I can hear you," she felt the tears running down her face as she looked at her former partner who she hadn't seen for 2 years. The person she wanted the most when she was taken. "I just… I ….." she sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

"I know this is a bit of a shock, seeing me like this. Trust me it's not the way I pictured coming back into your life after all this time."

Olivia just nodded still in shock.

"I just had to see for myself that you're okay," he said as a tear ran down his cheek. He didn't even bother to wipe it away. "When Gibbs told me what had happened…. what he saw on the news. You got to know I tried everything to get home, I just can't….. I'm so sorry."

Olivia sniffed again her eyes never leaving the large screen.

"Where are you?" she asked him.

"Afghanistan."

"You …. You re-joined the marines."

Elliot shook his head "No Liv, I joined NCIS, I will leave Gibbs to tell you the story on how that came about. I'm out here on a job."

She nodded "I …. I missed you so much. You just left me….. how could you just leave me after 12 years? No explanation no nothing. You even left it to Cragen to tell me," she snapped at him. "Ignoring my calls, my emails and text messages."

"I know and trust me I'm so sorry for that but my head was all over the place I didn't know what I was doing, you will never know how sorry I am that I ignored your calls," he dropped his head and took a deep breath. "Liv I don't want to argue with you now about what I did and didn't do. We can wait till I come home and see you in person for that."

"What makes you think I will want to see you when you get home?"

"Because I know you Liv and if anything you will want to punch me," he grinned.

Olivia couldn't help but chuckle. "I guess you do know me."

"After 12 years together, you bet your ass I do…Liv I don't have long left. I need you to tell me you're okay and you're getting help, don't keep it all bottled up inside like you did with Seal view."

"I'm not," she told him. "I'm already seeing a shrink, and all my injuries are healing slowly."

"That's good… is Cassidy looking after you."

"How did you know about him?"

Elliot smirked at her. "I know a lot of things Liv. I may not have been in touch with you for two years, but that doesn't mean I don't know what is going on in your life. Is he looking after you?"

Olivia shrugged. "He fusses. He wants me to talk to him but I'm not ready. Every time we are alone he asks me to tell him what I'm thinking, what Lewis done to me. I just wish he would leave me alone, I wish everyone would."

"They care about you Liv."

"I know I just wish I could have some time alone, it's like there is always someone there, and they won't leave me alone."

Elliot started to chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Your pissed at me for leaving you alone for two years, and pissed at everyone else cause they won't leave you alone."

"Yeah well your different….. I needed you El," she told him looking slightly embarrassed at the confession. "When Lewis had me I needed you. Your face was the one I seen. It was you I wanted and you weren't there," she said crying again. "I kept dreaming you would come and find me, that you would take me home…. And you never came."

"I am so sorry; you got to know if I was at home I would have been out looking for you. I wouldn't have stopped until if found you. As soon as I get home from here, I will be there for you I promise."

"I need you now El."

"I wish I could Liv, I really do."

"How long before you get home?" she sniffed.

"I don't know, I really don't. But Gibbs will let you know as soon as I am on my way."

She nodded her head. "Okay."

"I'm gonna lose the link soon," he told her.

"I don't want you to go," she said to him stepping towards the screen.

"I know sweetheart but I have a job to do here, then I can come home to you. I need you to be strong for me. Don't let him beat you Liv. Your stronger than that."

Olivia nodded.

"Liv… I know you probably don't want to talk about it. And you're probably sick of all the questions but I need to know one thing. I need to know that… I need…..did he….did Lewis…." He stuttered not knowing how to ask her.

"No he didn't," she told him. "He didn't rape me. He kept threatening to but he couldn't get it up." She saw Elliot take a long deep breath at the news. "I didn't fight him back, that was his thing the women fighting him, I didn't do that."

Elliot nodded.

"Thank you for telling me," he said. Relief washing over him that Lewis hadn't don't the one thing she was scared of the most. "I'm going to say bye now, Gibbs is going to look out for you until I get back okay."

"Okay," she said quietly.

"He is also going to fill you in on how I started working here. If you need anything just ask him or one of the others on the team, they know all about you."

Olivia just nodded not looking at the screen and Elliot's face.

"Liv, look up," he told her. "I need to see your face before I go, you have to know I never stopped caring for you. I know you might find that hard to believe after what has happened but it's true. I thought about you every day since I left. Just like you when I need someone it's your face I see. Stay strong for me okay."

Olivia looked up and smiled at him through the tears.

"Okay."

She saw Elliot's hand reach forward and touch the screen.

"Okay… and Olivia I …"

Olivia jumped as the screen went black and Elliot disappeared. She dropped back into the chair behind and put her head in her hands as she cried. Her body shaking as she sobbed harder than she ever had. Seeing his face made her realize just how much she missed and needed him.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and Gibbs dropped down in front of her.

"You okay?" he asked her.

"I just…. I miss him so much."

"And he misses you just as much, trust me," he said handing her a tissue. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"God I must look a mess," she said to him.

"I've seen worse," he told her standing up and holding his hand out. She took it and he helped her stand up.

"Thanks."

"Why don't you go freshen up and we will head out and grab a bite to eat and a coffee. Stabler asked me to explain everything to you and answer any questions you might have."

"Thank you…. why are you doing this for him?"

"He is part of this team, we look out for each other…. And I owe him," he smiled at her before heading to the door and holding it open.

"You owe him?" she asked cocking her eyebrow.

"That's a story for another day," he told her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**Present Day.**

Elliot wrapped the towel around her careful of all the bruises.

"Not as bad as last time," she said to him as his eyes wandered over her body.

"I never saw them last time, remember," he said dipping his head and placing small soft kisses on the bruises he could see. "What do fancy to eat?"

"How about Greek?"

"Ooookay. As long as you don't make me eat those Green leafy things with rice," he said scrunching up his face.

"Vine leaves," she smiled.

"Yeah them…..yuk," he said shaking his body and making Olivia laugh. "Why don't I go and order while you climb into bed."

Olivia nodded "Don't be long," she told him.

Elliot ordered the food and grabbed a bottle of wine and took it with him into the bedroom. Olivia was lying on the bed naked staring at the ceiling.

"Penny for them," he said climbing on the bed next to her and lying on his side facing her. He ran his fingers over her body lightly touching all the bruises. He saw the bruises around her hips and took a shaky breath as his fingers brushed over them.

"Liv," he said his voice just above a whisper. "You know I got to ask you."

She bit her lip and turned her head to look at him. "He was going to," she told him. "He undone my belt and pulled my trousers so far down, before he undone his own zip."

Elliot felt his body begin to shake. Olivia leant forward and kissed his lips.

"He didn't rape me…. he couldn't get it up because I just stood there. I didn't move and I didn't fight him. He pushed himself against me but that was all. He got angry and stopped trying."

Elliot felt the tears falling down his face.

"I just kept praying he wouldn't try on Amelia, she would have screamed and fought him."

"That's the little girl Lewis took?" he said his voice so quiet.

Olivia nodded forgetting Elliot didn't know the full story as he had been out the country.

"Did he hurt her?" he asked wiping at his tears.

"Not physically. He cuffed her dragged her around a lot. Shouted and screamed at her….but at least he didn't rape her."

"That's good."

"Yeah….. Doesn't mean she isn't scarred for life though. He has totally fucked up her life. And it's my entire fault," she said tears escaping from her eyes this time.

"No baby," he said moving closer to her. "It's His fault. He done this to you and her, not you," he said cupping her face and turning her to him fully. "He broke out of prison and he took her. If it wasn't for you he would have killed her as well so none of this is your fault and you can stop thinking that right now."

"No El, you don't get it. If I had just killed him the first time round, he would never have taken her….. I should have killed him, but I was too weak to," she sobbed.

Elliot pulled her to him and held her tightly in his arms as she cried, her head buried into his chest and he could feel the wetness of her tears.

"Don't you dare wipe your nose on me," he whispered into her hair. He felt her hiccup as she half cried half laughed before lifting up her head.

Elliot cupped her face again "You are anything but weak," he said kissing her softly his tongue slipping into her mouth and gently brushing it against hers. She moaned into his mouth as he wiped away her tears with his thumbs, before sliding his hand from her face down over her neck, gently brushing the side of her breast before he lay it on her hip bone and pulled her to him.

"Make love to me," she whispered. "Help me forget if only for a while."

Without saying anything he pushed her onto her back and rolled onto her slipping between her legs as he pulled the towel away from his waist throwing it on the floor. He pushed her legs further apart as he settled between them.

"No foreplay," she told him. "I just need to feel you inside me; I need to be as close as I can to you."

Elliot nodded and reached down taking hold of himself as he lined himself up and gently eased into her.

"I love you so much," he told her as he moved inside her.

She cupped the back of his neck and kept her eyes on his.

"I love you to," she said playing with his short hair as he moved in and out her.

"Liv I think it's time we told everyone."

"Me to, I hate them not knowing and I hate that they think me and Brian are still together, and that…Oh god!" she gasped as he moved his hand between them gently rubbing her. "And I hate how they think he is the perfect boyfriend and just working away….. It's been 3 months now since we…."

"I know," he panted. "Trust me…. god you feel so good. Trust me I won't forget that night in a hurry."

"It was pretty amazing."

"Yes it was," he grunted as he moved deeply and slowly into her as she pushed up to meet his every thrust. "Just let go Baby, let go and forget everything. I've got you now."

No sooner had he finished talking than he felt her shudder around him as she gripped his body tight and cried out his name as she bit down on his shoulder, sending Elliot over the edge as he came as well.

They lay holding each other tight gasping for breath as Elliot sucked softly on her skin. They both jumped at the knock on the door.

"Time to eat," he smiled down at her. "And then we need to decide how we are going to tell everyone about us," he said pulling out of her slowly and grabbing a pair of sweats pulling them on.

"El," she said as he got to the door making him stop. "Before we talk about telling the guys, I need to tell you everything what happened."

Elliot nodded "Okay, if you're sure you're ready?"

"I am, but I need to tell you because I don't want to go to my IAB interview alone, like I said earlier. I want you to come with me. I need you to be there with me."

Elliot was about to reply when there was another knock on the door louder this time.

"I better get that," he smiled at her before turning away and heading to the door, as the banging continued.

He took the chain off the door and pulled it open "Alright I'm here," he snapped glaring at the person on the other side.

"Elliot?"

"Captain."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all the great reviews for the first two chapters they have been great.

It was pointed out to me that Gibbs would use Jethro and not Leroy so I have taken that on board from now on.

I'm sorry if my timelines are a bit out, I have tried my best with them and as I haven't really watched a lot of SVU especially the last couple of seasons I sometimes get a bit lost.

However it is fanfiction so I can be slightly out lol.

_**Chapter 3**_

_**They lay holding each other tight gasping for breath as Elliot sucked softly on her skin. They both jumped at the knock on the door.**_

"_**Time to eat," he smiled down at her. "And then we need to decide how we are going to tell everyone about us," he said pulling out of her slowly and grabbing a pair of sweats pulling them on. **_

"_**El," she said as he got to the door making him stop. "Before we talk about telling the guys, I need to tell you everything what happened."**_

_**Elliot nodded "Okay, if you're sure you're ready?"**_

"_**I am, but I need to tell you because I don't want to go to my IAB interview alone, like I said earlier. I want you to come with me. I need you to be there with me."**_

_**Elliot was about to reply when there was another knock on the door louder this time.**_

"_**I better get that," he smiled at her before turning away and heading to the door, as the banging continued.**_

_**He took the chain off the door and pulled it open "Alright I'm here," he snapped glaring at the person on the other side.**_

"_**Elliot?"**_

"_**Captain."**_

They both just stood in the doorway staring at each other both shocked to see the other person.

"Erm….come in," said Elliot standing to one side as his old Captain walked past him. He closed the door and took a deep breath before turning to face him. "I err…. I thought you were on vacation?"

"I was," said Cragen staring at Elliot.

Elliot just nodded not quite knowing what to say.

"I got a flight back from LA as soon as I heard what happened, I wanted to make sure she was okay…..is she?" he asked him.

"I don't know…she hasn't talked yet, but she will she just needs time."

"Yeah."

They both stood looking at each in silence.

"Jesus, come here," said Cragen stepping towards him and pulling him into a hug. "It's so good to see you Son," he said patting Elliot's back as they hugged.

"It's good to see you to Cap," said Elliot hoping Cragen would hear his voice as it cracked.

"Am I disturbing something?" asked Olivia from the bedroom doorway. Cragen and Elliot pulled apart and Cragen turned to Olivia.

"God, I'm glad you're okay," said Cragen walking quickly to her and pulling her into a hug. "I was so worried and scared when I saw the news," he said holding her tight. "I should have been here."

"I'm okay," she said as tears fell from her eyes. "But I'm glad you're here."

"I would have been back sooner if I had known but I didn't see any news till this morning, I was up in the mountains fishing and camping," he stepped back to look at her. "You sure you're okay."

"I will be," she smiled. Cragen nodded and turned back to Elliot.

"So is one of you going to tell me what the hell is going on here and how long you have both been back in each other's lives. When I left you were with Brian."

"Yeah, I guess we have a lot to explain" she smiled as Elliot came over and wrapped his arm around her.

"I will just go and throw a top on," he said kissing her forehead. Cragen smiled when he saw the affection and love pass between them. Olivia nodded and turned to Cragen.

"You want a coffee?" she asked him.

"Sure," he smiled getting up and following her into the kitchen. "So come on how long has he been back?"

"Back in touch about nine month, but we have been together, together, three month."

"Nine months, you mean he got back in touch after the first time with Lewis."

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I …. I wanted him to myself. I didn't want everyone knowing and telling me I was wrong to let him back into my life after the way he left. I knew you all felt like he had let me down, but I know now he didn't. He had his reasons why he had left and why he never got in touch. I wanted time to get our friendship back on track without everyone interfering. He has a whole new life now and I wanted to get to know him again without any interference."

"I would never have told you it was wrong to let him back in. Yes I was angry with the way he left, but I knew he must have had his reasons."

"Maybe not, but I just didn't want the hassle."

"And you say you got together, together three months ago, that would have been around…."

"The time you retired."

"And you were still with Brian?"

Olivia nodded. "I wasn't happy with Brian and you all knew that. The more time Elliot and I spent together the more….. I have always loved him Don."

"I know he smiled."

"I really tried with Brian, but there was always something missing, something was never quite right."

She handed Cragen his cup of coffee.

"I take it the guys still don't know about you and Elliot."

She shook her head. "We were waiting for the right time," she gave a little laugh. "They think I'm still with Brian and he is away working undercover, Fin even asked if I had called him."

Elliot walked into the kitchen and wrapped his arm around her protectively.

"Just spoke to Dickie and Lizzy, they send their love," he told her as she dropped her head against his shoulder. "So she filled you in?" he asked Cragen.

"A little," he smiled. "I'm just glad you have each other again, even if it did take you all these years to get there."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"That will be the food," said Elliot heading to the door.

"I will go and let you eat," said Cragen putting his cup down.

"No!" said Olivia. "Stay please, there is so much to talk about, you should know everything. And believe it or not, I have missed you as well," she said letting him pull her into a hug.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**9 Months earlier.**

_Olivia sat looking out the coffee shop window as Gibbs put their order in. She was still shocked and confused after her quick video call with Elliot. Gibbs sat down opposite her and put her coffee in front of her._

"_Thank you," she said quietly before reaching into her bag and taking out her pain meds and taking some with her coffee._

"_You still in pain?" he asked her._

"_Yeah, just my wrist really, the rest are healing okay."_

_Gibbs gave her a little smile as he took a drink of his coffee._

"_So what's Elliot doing out in Afghan?" she asked him._

"_Surveillance work."_

"_Surveillance work?"_

"_Yup."_

"_What type of surveillance work?"_

"_The type where he watches people," said Gibbs giving her a smirk._

"_You're not going to tell me are you?"_

"_Nope."_

"_Well is this surveillance work dangerous?"_

"_Only if he gets caught, but he is good at his job so he should be okay."_

"_You do know Elliot said you would answer any questions I had."_

_Gibbs leaned forward over the table. "Try asking me the right questions and I will," he smiled before sitting back._

"_Okay I guess the first question is how come he is working for NCIS. I mean I know he used to be a Marine, but he had never shown any interest in going back."_

"_Did Stabler tell you much about his time in the Marines?"_

_Olivia shrugged. "No not really. It came up a few times and he would mention the odd thing but didn't say much. I never pushed I just figured if he wanted to talk and tell me things he would."_

_Gibbs took a long drink of his coffee._

"_I was Stablers Gunnery Sgt We served together in Desert Storm. We all saw things out there that we would share with people back home. You become one big family looking out for each no matter what._

_I got a phone call eight months ago from Stablers son Dickie. He said he had been going through his dads stuff and found stuff from his Marine days. I asked what I could do for him and he said his Dad needed help….._

**17 months earlier**

"_**Gibbs," he said answering the phone.**_

"_**Erm… Hi Sir. You err, you don't know me but my Dad used to serve with you, I don't know if you will remember him his name is Elliot Stabler."**_

"_**I remember him, Is he okay?" asked Gibbs. He hadn't heard from Stabler in over 18 years. However he had kept tabs on most of the men he served with in Desert Storm after they had left the Marines.**_

"_**No …. Not really Sir….. That's why I'm calling. I don't know who else can help him. I found your photo and name in my dad's stuff, along with a diary he kept. I kinda sensed you two were quite close and he listened and respected you… he needs help and I don't know what to do," he heard the young boys voice begin to break on the phone and he heard him sniffing.**_

"_**What's your name?"**_

"_**Dickie, Sir."**_

"_**Okay, well why don't we drop the Sir and you can call me Jethro okay."**_

"_**Okay."**_

"_**Does your dad know your calling me?"**_

"_**No… but then he doesn't know much about what is happening these days. He is drunk most the time or sleeping off a hangover. He sometimes doesn't make it back to his apartment for a few days and when he does his hands and face all beat up where he has been in fights."**_

"_**When did all this start?"**_

"_**About a month after he left the force," said Dickie.**_

"_**Why did he leave?" asked Gibbs.**_

"_**He shot a girl. I mean he had no choice and he was cleared of the shooting but….. But he kept blaming himself and no matter what any of us said to him he wouldn't listen. I wanted to call his Partner but he shouted at me not to. All he said was he didn't want her involved and it was nothing to do with her. He has cut off all contact with her and the guys he worked with. Which I don't get cause he was really close to her. He even pinned me against the wall and threatened me before throwing me out of his apartment. It's like he wasn't my dad anymore, the look he had in his eyes. Him and Mom are getting divorced cause she can't handle it anymore… He doesn't bother with any us anymore. I'm scared he is going to hurt himself or someone else."**_

"_**Okay," said Gibbs. "Where are you living?"**_

"_**We live in New York in Queens. Dads apartment isn't that far from us."**_

"_**I will be on a flight out there first thing in the morning text me your address."**_

"_**Do you think you can help him?"**_

"_**Honestly, I don't know, but I will give it a good try. Once a Marine always a Marine, we always have each other's backs."**_

"_**Thank you," said Dickie. "I will text you his address."**_

"_**Okay…. And Dickie, try not to worry."**_

"_**Okay Sir, thank you again," he said before hanging up.**_

_**Gibbs put down the phone and took a deep breath. He opened his draw and took out his Purple Heart running his fingers over it before dropping it back in the drawer and standing up.**_

"_**Tony!" he yelled.**_

"_**Yes Boss," said DiNozzo jumping up.**_

"_**You're in charge."**_

"_**You going somewhere Boss?"**_

"_**New York," he said dropping his weapon into his drawer and locking it.**_

"_**You're going alone… unarmed?"**_

"_**Yeah, behave when I'm gone," he said walking out. "And I mean all of you."**_

_**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**Gibbs climbed out his car and looked up at the small apartment building. He checked the names on the mail boxes and stood and patiently waited for someone to come out of go in. Twenty minutes later and elderly woman came out he held the door open for her before quickly slipping inside.**_

_**He walked up the flight of stairs and up to Elliot's door. Noticing it was open slightly he gently pushed it open and walked in. He looked around the room it was littered in newspapers and empty alcohol bottles, dirty clothes flung over the chairs. He heard a thud from the other side of the apartment behind the closed door.**_

_**He carefully made his way across the room making sure he didn't fall on the empty bottles. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and looked in. The room was lit only by the light coming in through the small gap in the curtains. He saw Elliot sitting on the floor under the window, he was only wear a pair of jeans, he could see that his chest and stomach were covered in bruises, dried blood on his face. He was holding a gun in his battered hand.**_

"_**What do you think you're doing Sergeant?" asked Gibbs standing in the doorway. Elliot lifted his head slowly and looked towards the voice squinting his eyes.**_

"_**Who the fuck are you and what the hell you doin in my apartment," he slurred raising the gun and pointing it towards Gibbs, not recognising him in his drunken state and the bad light. "And its …..Was Detective," he chuckled. "Apparently I wasn't good enough to …. To….." he squinted again as he waved the gun about. "Get the fuck out…..Now!" he yelled picking up a beer and drinking it.**_

"_**I don't think so Marine," said Gibbs striding across the room and kicking the gun from Elliot's hand before he had the chance to react.**_

"_**What the fuck," he said staggering to his feet. "Who the hell do you think you are? "he asked as he fell back against the wall. Gibbs yanked open the curtains and the sunlight flooded the room. Elliot closed his eyes and put his hand over them shading them form the light.**_

"_**I'm the person who's gonna save your sorry ass…. Sergeant!" he yelled standing in front of Elliot his hand pinned him against the window holding him up as Elliot swayed.**_

_**Elliot opened his eyes blinking fast as his eyes got used to the light and they focused on Gibbs.**_

"_**Gu….Gunny," he said shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. Gibbs nodded but didn't speak. "What hell….how the fuck…..what you doing here?" he asked as he swayed to the side and almost fell over again.**_

"_**I heard one of my Marines was in trouble."**_

"_**Yeah well I'm fine, and I'm not one of your Marines… I'm not anything, not anymore."**_

"_**What the hell do you mean your nothing, You're a father and right now your letting your kids down. What the hell has gotten into you? What happened to the Marine who stood by my side in Desert Storm? What happened to the Detective who helped and defended those people who couldn't do it for themselves?"**_

"_**He's gone," yelled Elliot pushing his way past Gibbs and stumbling into the kitchen and grabbing another beer off the table, twisting off the top.**_

"_**No you don't," said Gibbs grabbing the bottle from him and throwing it in the sink.**_

"_**What the fuck," snapped Elliot going to grab another beer. Gibbs picked up the rest of the 6 pack and threw it across the room smashing them off the wall.**_

"_**Fucking prick," growled Elliot spinning round and grabbing hold of Gibbs and throwing him against the wall, raising his fist to him. As he swung Gibbs ducked and Elliot's fist hit the wall. Gibbs quickly spun him around and pinned him to the wall.**_

"_**You don't scare me Stabler, I'm not your Son, You can't pin me against the wall and threaten me."**_

"_**Get the Fuck off me," he said gasping for breath.**_

"_**Not until I know your gonna calm down," he said to him as Elliot carried on struggling trying to break free. "I'm here to help you Dammit…. Just calm down."**_

"_**I don't need your help, I don't need anyone's help," Elliot told him. "Just leave me alone. I don't deserve any help."**_

"_**Well according to your Son you do."**_

_**Elliot stopped struggling and looked at Gibbs.**_

"_**What?"**_

"_**Dickie reckons you deserve help."**_

"_**D….Dickie called you."**_

_**Gibbs nodded. "He's worried about you, he is scared your gonna do something to hurt yourself or hurt someone else. Despite threatening him he went through your stuff and looked for someone he thought might be able to help… If I leave loose of you, you gonna go crazy on me again?"**_

_**Elliot shook his head, and Gibbs left loose of him. He sank to the floor and dropped his head into his hands. Gibbs sat down opposite him and looked across at his former Sergeant.**_

"_**What the hell happened?" he asked him.**_

_**Elliot shook his head without lifting it. Gibbs could help him sniffing and knew he was crying. Elliot lifted his head and looked up at him his eyes red, tears running down his face.**_

"_**I killed a kid," he sobbed. "I shot a young girl and killed her…. again," he sniffed and wiped his nose on his arm. "I keep killing innocent young girl's, I keep taking their lives before they have lived them."**_

"_**Elliot, they weren't innocent young girls. You shot them because you had to."**_

"_**No…." he sniffed. "I…. I could have just shot and injured them but I didn't, I killed them, I took their lives. I joined SVU to save children, to look after them, I couldn't even do that."**_

"_**If you hadn't taken those shots… your partner, Olivia would be dead now. If you hadn't taken that shot in Desert Storm I would be dead."**_

"_**They were just kids…. sixteen and…. And nine years old. Nine. She hadn't even began to live her life."**_

"_**She was nine years old and pointing an automatic machine gun at my chest as I lay unconscious, after her and her brothers had just blown me up with a road side bomb they had planted. You had no choice, she may have been nine but she was a soldier and a killer."**_

"_**No, no , no, no," Elliot mumbled as the tears continued to flow.**_

"_**I looked into the other shooting the one you quit after. She came into the station after purposely buying a gun and opened fired. She killed a nun, a prisoner and shot three other cops. Footage shows she turned the gun towards your partner just as you took that shot. It was a clean shoot….. You did nothing wrong."**_

_**Elliot stared at him. "It doesn't feel like that. I have nightmares all the time. All I can see are their faces staring up at me. After I shot Jenna, I kept getting flashbacks to that day in the desert. The explosion, you lying there. I would fall back to sleep only to dream that Olivia got shot, that I didn't save her. I would wake up screaming her name."**_

"_**Did you talk to anyone about the dreams."**_

_**Elliot shook his head. "I found drinking helped, I would just pass out so I didn't dream… Why did you come?" he asked. "I haven't seen you since I left after we got home, and you got out of hospital."**_

"_**I came because I was asked. I came because once a Marine always a Marine. And I came because I owe you. You saved my life now it's my turn to return the favour."**_

"_**I'm a pretty lost cause," Elliot sniffed. "My wife has left me, my kids are scared of me. I've got no job. And I have alienated everyone I used to work with including the woman I love." Elliot sighed and let out a shaky breath as he wiped his eyes.**_

"_**I've dealt with worse…. You think your steady enough to get yourself in the shower, when I put on some coffee."**_

_**Elliot nodded and Gibbs stood up walking over to him. He held out his hand and help Elliot to his feet.**_

"_**I'm sorry," said Elliot. "You probably have better things to do than babysit me."**_

"_**Nah, what makes you think that," he said giving him a quick smile.**_

"_**It's really good to see you again Gunny," he said before turning and walking away.**_

_**Gibbs nodded and started to make the coffee. When he heard the shower running he took out his phone and called Dickie.**_

"_**Hey Dickie, it's Jethro. I'm with your Dad… He is gonna be okay….Listen I'm going to take him back to Washington with me okay. I will have him call you in a few days when things settle… Try not to worry about him….. I know it's hard not to…..Yeah I will tell him," he said hanging up the phone and taking a deep breath.**_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

**9 months ago**.

_Olivia wiped away the tears from her face and Gibbs handed her a tissue._

"_I didn't realise he was in such a bad way, I should have gone to see him."_

"_He wouldn't have seen you Olivia, he didn't want anyone or anything. He had killed two little girls to save people he cared about it all got too much for him. When we got back from the gulf the first time, we never got counselling for what we had seen and done. He shot that nine year old girl as she pointed a rifle at my chest. He was only twenty yards from her and he saw her face as the bullet hit her. He held her in his arms as she died."_

"_Just like he did with Jenna," she sighed. "Why didn't Kathy call me, why the hell didn't she do something when he started falling apart. She knew I would have been there for him I was his partner."_

_Gibbs gave her a little smile. "Before the shooting him and Kathy were already going through a bad time. Arguing all the time about his job and….you. The last person Kathy was going to call was the one woman she didn't want in his life."_

"_What the hell do you mean?"_

"_Kathy was jealous at how close you and Stabler were. When he left the force she was happy at first. She had him home every day and he wasn't with you. She seen it as getting her husband back. She didn't want you back in his life."_

"_Jesus," she said shaking her head. "Nothing has ever happened between me and El."_

"_Nothing has to happen, doesn't mean the feelings aren't there," he smiled. "The reason he didn't want Dickie to call you was because he felt like he had let you down, that you would hate what he had become."_

"_I would never have thought that."_

"_Yeah well, that's Stabler for you. He doesn't really think about things."_

"_I take it that him and Kathy aren't together anymore."_

"_No their divorce was finalised a few months ago. She lives in Florida now with Eli and Kathleen. Maureen is studying in London and Dickie and Lizzy are in Uni I LA."_

_Olivia smiled "It's good to hear they are all doing well," she smiled. "Does El get to see Eli much?"_

"_Quite a bit, he either goes to visit or has him for the holidays, him and Kathy actually get on a lot better now."_

_They sat in silence for a while._

"_I'm glad Dickie called you and you helped him."_

"_Me to, I now have a good agent working for me," he smiled._

_Olivia wiped her nose and eyes before taking a drink of her coffee._

"_I'm going to suggest something and you don't have to say yes straight away okay."_

_Olivia nodded._

"_Why don't you come back to Washington with me, just for a few days. Maybe getting away from the New York will help your recovery. I have the keys to Elliot's apartment, you could stay there for a while, get a little peace and quiet. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."_

"_I can't," she said giving him a small smile._

"_Why not? You can't go back to work just yet."_

"_There's Brian."_

_Gibbs leaned over the table to her. "I'm not being funny but from what I heard and seen of him, he is a bit of an idiot, even DiNozzo thought so and that's saying something."_

"_What do you mean, what you know and what you have seen of him, how and when did you see him."_

_Gibbs winked at her "Special Agents remember," he said standing up. He handed Olivia his card. "If you want to talk, just call anytime. I will let you know when he is on his way home." He bent down and gave Olivia a small peck on her cheek. "Look after yourself Detective Benson_

"_But wait you haven't told me everything about what happened," she said turning in her chair. Gibbs shrugged and headed to the door. _

"_I'm sorry but I have to get back to my unit. You want to know what happened I guess you will have to call or come and visit."_

"_Fine I will come with you back to Washington…. Just for a few days," she said. She needed to know everything that happened with him, and as strange as it was she felt comfortable and safe with Gibbs. Safer than she had felt for a long time. Since Elliot was her partner._

"_DiNozzo will pick you up 7am tomorrow make sure you're ready," he said without turning around and heading out the door, a big smile on his face._

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Present day.

Elliot lay in bed holding Olivia as she slept on his chest.

She had told him and Cragen everything that had happened with Lewis. His body had began to shake in anger as she broke down in front of them as she told them about holding the gun to her head and pulling the trigger. He had to fight the urge to hit something.

After she had told them what happened she had wanted to change the subject so they had told Cragen about how they finally got together. As Elliot and Cragen had talked Olivia had curled up into Elliot's side and fell asleep resting on him, exhaustion finally taking over.

After Cragen had left Elliot had carried her to bed and crawled in beside her. He had tried to sleep but couldn't get the images of Olivia holding a gun to her head out of his mind. Tears ran down his face as he lay there.

"Elliot, stop," she said quietly reaching up and wiping away the tears.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he sniffed pulling her tightly to him.

"It's okay," she told him. "You want to talk?" she asked him lifting her head up and moving up the bed turning onto her side and rest her head on her hand looking down at his face, as she wiped away his tears before turning his head to face her.

"I….. I could have lost you today," he told her. "If one of those rounds had been in the chamber…" more tears fell from his eyes.

"But there wasn't Baby, we can't keep thinking that way it will drive us crazy."

"I can't lose you Liv…. I just got you back and that bastard tried to take you away from me."

Olivia dropped her head and gently kissed his tears tasting the salt from them on her lips.

"I'm not going anywhere sweetheart, I'm right here."

"What if next time you're not so lucky?" he asked her brushing her hair behind her ear.

"El, that's the risk we take doing the jobs that we do, you have always known that. How do you think I feel every time Gibbs sends you back to Afghan or another war zone. I worry every minute of the day."

"I know but…."

She put a finger to his lips. "We do what we do because we are good at it. If we quit then the bad guys win, and neither of us want that."

Elliot let out a shaky breath, he knew she was right but it didn't stop him worrying.

"Promise me from now on, you will always have back up. No running off by yourself trying to be a hero. You have a Partner for a reason….. okay."

"Okay, I promise. As long as you promise to not go off half-cocked again," she said bending her head forward and kissing the still healing scar tissue on his chest, just above his nipple. "I can't go through all that worry again, believe it or not, but I need you just as much."

"I promise," he said kissing the top of her head. "I will be having a word with Fin and Amaro when I finally see them again though," he sighed as she continued to kiss the scar.

"Excuse me," she said as moved her mouth away from the scar to his nipple and gently sucked it between her lips as her fingers lightly brushed over his stomach, making him flinch.

"I'm gonna tell them if they don't look after my Girl better when I'm gone, then we will be having more than just words."

"Your girl, Huh." She grinned up at him.

"Yeah," he smirked, rolling her onto her back and pulling her t-shirt over her head, as she pushed her panties down her legs and kicked them off. Once she was free of them Elliot moved on top of her and between her legs. "If Fin thought I was protective over you when you were just my partner, he will hate how bad I am now I have seen you naked," he chuckled.

"Oh I see, so you only want him to look after me for….oh god!" she gasped as he slipped into her. "You only want me for my body."

"Your body," he said thrusting gently into her. "Your soul…. Your mind… Your heart," he said as he moved in and out of her. "I want everything and all of you," he said moving his mouth to hers as they kissed softly and continued moving together slowly as one.

**Please don't forget to review and let me know what you think.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the positive feedback on this story (well almost all positive someone apparently didn't like that they ordered Greek food instead of Chinese or pizza? And then gave me a lesson on Afghanistan.) Very strange lol.**

**A Warning for this chapter as the rating goes up to M slightly. I can't help myself sorry. So if you don't like the naughty stuff just skim over the shower scene lol.**

**As I said before the timeline may be slightly off at certain times but this is because I haven't really watched Season 15. So a lot of what happens is just what I would have liked.**

**Don't forget to leave your views.**

Chapter 4

Present Day

"Why didn't you wake me?" he asked her as he climbed into the shower behind her.

"You looked so cute, I didn't want to," she said stepping back into his arms.

"Don't you dare tell DiNozzo or Ziva I look cute asleep I will never hear the end of it….. turn around," he told her grabbing the shower gel and squeezing some into his hand and beginning to gently massage it into her back.

"Hmmm that feels so good," she moaned as he began to rub her shoulders.

"How about tonight I give you the full treatment," he said as his hands carried on massaging her shoulders.

"The full treatment?"

"Yeah, a full body massage, complete with oils and candles," he said as his mouth went to her neck and he kissed her softly.

"Sounds perfect," she said turning her head and capturing his lips with hers.

"What time you got to be at IAB?"

"About eleven," she said reaching for her shower gel. "My turn," she said.

"Oh no," he said grabbing it from her and handing her his gel. "I'm not going to the station for the first time in three years smelling of vanilla or coconut, or whatever flavours your using now."

"Flavour," she asked him as she squeezed the gel into her hands and rubbed it over his chest.

"Yeah flavour, they all smell good enough to eat."

She shook her head as her hands travelled slowly down his front and slid around his growing erection.

"You know we have a couple of hours to kill before we have to leave," she said sliding her hand up and down him.

"And what do you think we should do to fill in the time?" he asked as his hands slowly made their way up from her waist and over her breasts.

"Oh I don't know, maybe you could see how good I taste," she smiled at him. "Make me feel good, help me relax before I have to sit through that damn interview."

"I think I can do that," he said as he dropped to his knees in front of her.

"El… baby I didn't mean… Shit," she gasped as he lifted one of her legs over his shoulder and she felt his tongue run the full length of her, she put her hands to the wall either side to help her balance.

"Mmmmm definitely coconut," he mumbled before his mouth completely covered her and his tongue delved deep inside.

"Oh Christ," said Olivia resting one of her hands on his head as his tongue swirled around inside as he made love to her with his mouth. She dropped her head back against the tiles and pushed her hips forward moving them in a circular motion as she pushed her pussy closer to his mouth. "Feels so good," she mumbled, as his tongue continued its assault on her, lapping, sucking and nibbling at her clit. Ever since he had come back into her life he knew just what she needed to help her relax. After Lewis took her last time she couldn't let Cassidy touch her, just the thought of it made her ill. But with Elliot, he just knew what she needed and what she needed was him

She put her hands onto his shoulders for support as her legs turned to jelly and her pussy began to throb from his touch. She heard him moan as he pushed his tongue deep inside her and his hands grasped her ass cheeks holding her up. She couldn't hold off any longer as she came, her body trembling and shaking as grasped his short hair with one hand holding his face to her pussy as she convulsed violently against him.

As her body began to relax he eased her leg down from his shoulder to the floor. He ran his tongue the length of her one last time before kissing her wet folds and standing back up.

"God you taste amazing," he grinned before kissing her softly and letting her taste herself on his lips. "You want me to make some breakfast?" he asked her dropping his head to hers.

"What about you?" she asked as she felt his throbbing erection against her stomach.

"I'll be fine," he told her. "As long as you're relaxed and happy that's all I care about."

"But El….."

"No buts okay, you jump out whilst I lower the heat in here to help sort me out."

"No," she said quietly.

"Baby, me coming in here and making you come like that, its cause I wanted to. I don't expect you to have to do the same."

"Maybe not," she said turning off the water and leading him from the shower, the cold air on her hot skin making her shiver. "But I'm not having you come to my interview with Tucker when your sexually frustrated….your likely to hit him."

She climbed onto the bed and lay on her back spreading her legs. "I want you El," she said as he climbed on the bed between her legs. "You make me feel alive, you make me feel safe. As you once told me, we are Partners for Life. What kind of partner would I be if I just left you all frustrated?"

Elliot hovered over her as she spoke his cock pushing up against her pussy.

"I want you inside me Baby," she said as he eased his way into her slowly spreading her as he sunk deeply inside her his eyes staying on her face. "God I love you so much," she said as he began to move inside her, thrusting slowly and deeply.

He dropped his head into the crook of her neck and sucked on her pulse point as she wrapped her arms and legs around him pulling him closely to her, and biting down on his shoulder.

"I'm never leaving you again," he mumbled into her neck. "I'm asking Gibbs to take me off the over sea assignments, I can't do it anymore," he said as he thrust into her, before circling his hips. "I can't be away from you."

"Oh god Baby," she gasped as he began to circle his hips grinding himself deeper into her. "Can you do that?"

"If I can't I will leave," he said raising his head from her neck and dropping his head to hers.

"No, you can't," she said sucking his bottom lip into her mouth.

"I can and I will… You…. and me," he grunted. "That's what's important…. Shit!" he gasped when he felt the blood rushing through his body.

"That's it baby… come on, come for me….come inside me" she sighed into his mouth her eyes meeting his, as he gave one last thrust and released inside her coating her inner walls with his hot seed. She felt him fill her as his hand went to her clit and his thumb massaged the small bundle of nerves sending her over the edge as she came again, digging her nails into his back.

Elliot dropped his head gasping for breath as he lay on top of her their bodies coated in sweat. "I've nearly lost you twice now Liv in less than a year and each time I couldn't do anything to help, I can't go through that again. I couldn't take it." He lifted his head up to look at her. "I once told you a long time ago that you and the job were the only things I had left anymore…. Well now it's only you and my kids, I can live without the job but I can't live without you."

"But El…."

"No buts Liv, I thought about this most the night. I will go and talk to Gibbs see what he can do."

She knew she should talk him out of it but she couldn't do it. She had tried to be strong and independent; she had always proved she could do her job as good as the men she served with, but now. She wanted and needed him close to her. She wanted him to look after her and take care of her and for once in her life she didn't care how weak that made her look in other people's eyes.

"Okay," she smiled.

"Okay," he said dropping his head back against her neck as they held each tight.

_9 month ago_

"_Hey where you been?" asked Brian as Olivia came in to the apartment._

"_Just out walking…. Thinking."_

"_How did it go at the shrinks?" he asked her as he poured them a drink._

"_Good….. Real good."_

_Brian just nodded as he walked past her and handed her a drink before sitting down and putting the TV on._

"_Erm…. When I was out walking I decided that I need….. Well I could do with a few days away."_

"_Yeah," he said turning around. "Where we going? Somewhere hot by a beach would be nice."_

"_Not we…. Just me," she said taking a sip of her wine. She couldn't believe after everything that had happened at the beach house he actually thought a beach holiday would be a good idea._

"_Right," he said turning back to the TV._

"_Don't be pissed off," she said sitting down on the chair facing him. "I just think I need some time away from the city, time to think, time alone without everyone asking if I'm okay every five minutes."_

_Brian sighed "Fine if that's what you need, then go."_

_Olivia stood up and went into their bedroom and pulled a small case out and began to pack._

"_So where you going?" asked Brian stood in the doorway with his arms crossed._

"_To an old friend's," she said. "She lives in Washington," she told him only partly lying to him._

"_You never mentioned a friend in D.C before."_

"_Yeah she's an old college friend she saw the news and got in touch asked me to go and stay."_

_Brian nodded and walked over to her as she bent over the bed and folded her clothes into the bag. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back to him, kissing her neck._

_Olivia jumped at his touch then froze unable to move or do anything as he sucked on the side of her neck._

"_How about a little going away present," he smirked moving his hands up to her breasts and squeezing them. Olivia flinched and pulled away from him._

"_Not now huh, I'm tired and just want to pack and have something to eat."_

"_Yeah, whatever," said Brian storming out of the bedroom._

_Olivia took a deep breath and followed him "Where are you going?" she asked him as he grabbed his coat and put it on._

"_Out for a drink, it doesn't look like I'm needed here."_

"_Hey, I'm sorry alright, I just….. I can't….. Not just yet."_

"_Well let me know when you're ready," he huffed before storming out the apartment._

"_Shit," she cursed running her hand through her hair, before turning back to the bedroom to finish packing her few clothes._

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

"_Morning Detective Benson," grinned DiNozzo jumping out the car and running around to open the door for her and take her bags from her._

"_Morning to you Special Agent DiNozzo," she smiled back as he threw her bags in the trunk and she climbed into the car._

_DiNozzo climbed in and handed her a coffee._

"_Thank you," she said taking it from her._

"_Yeah Stabler has said you could be a right grouch in the morning…."_

_Olivia looked at him raising her eyebrow._

"_Or was it grumpy Bitch…. I don't know one of them, anyway I thought it best to bring a coffee."_

_Olivia sat in silence as they drove drinking her coffee. "So do you work with Elliot much?"_

"_Every now and then, he does a lot of the jobs working away, but I have worked with him a few times," he said glancing over at her. "Can I ask you something about him? I mean it might just be me or the fact he has hard couple of years, but he always seems a bit…"_

_Olivia smiled "Yeah he is always a moody bastard at work," she said cutting him off. "But don't worry you get used to it."_

"_Yeah don't know about that. Abby loves him and he is always joking with her, even Ziva. I just seem to annoy him…. I mean I don't get how."_

"_I can't think," laughed Olivia as the car pulled up to a gate to a small run way, and she saw a small jet waiting for them._

_DiNozzo parked the car and turned off the engine. "Let's go," he said jumping out and running to the trunk to grab her bags._

"_Do you want me to take them?" she asked him as he grabbed his own bag as well._

"_No, no I'm fine Detective Benson."_

"_Okay, can we stop with the Detective part now its Olivia," she said to him._

"_Okay Olivia, and you can call me Special Agent DiNozzo," he said walking away from her._

"_What the hell," she said under her breath as she followed him. He stopped and looked over his Shoulder._

"_Or Tony," he smiled. "Whichever you prefer?"_

_Olivia shook her head and followed him to the plane and up the stairs._

_As soon as she set foot inside she was charged at by the girl Gibbs had called Abby the day before. Abby flung her arms around her and hugged her tight. Olivia couldn't do anything but just stand there and be crushed._

"_I'm so glad you're alright, when we realised it was you…. Elliot's Olivia, it was just so awful. I feel like I know you already and if anything had happened to you," she said as she hugged her._

"_Abby…." Said Gibbs from behind._

_Abby let go of Olivia and spun around "Don't tell me not to hug her, she needs a hug after what has happened. Elliot would want me to hug her," she told him, standing with her hands on her hips, Gibbs raised his hands up._

"_Okay…. I was just going to tell you to take your seat, we are about to take off."_

"_Oh right," she said grabbing Olivia's hand and pulling her to a seat. Olivia looked at Gibbs who just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders before sitting down opposite her and Abby._

"_So," said Olivia once they were in the air. "We have an hour to kill, why don't you tell me some more about what happened with Elliot," she said to Gibbs._

**17 months earlier**

**Elliot opened his eyes and groaned, he felt like shit, his head was pounding and he felt sick. He went to move when suddenly the urge to vomit came over him. He quickly reached down and grabbed the bucket next to him as what was left inside him came up.**

"**You're awake," said Gibbs coming in and sitting in the chair opposite him.**

"**You're still here," he said wiping his mouth.**

"**Catch," said Gibbs throwing Elliot a bottle of water. Elliot took the water and unscrewed the top taking a drink. He watched as Gibbs un wrapped a burger and began to eat. "Want some?" he asked Elliot holding the burger to him.**

**Elliot shook his head and tried to ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach.**

"**Why are you still here?" he asked him.**

"**I told you last night."**

"**Yeah and I told you, you could go to hell, I'm not going to Washington with you," he said taking another drink. "I don't your need your help….. it's good to see you and everything but I just need to be left alone. Dickie should never have called you."**

**Gibbs never said a word he just sat and stared at Elliot as Elliot stared back at him. He took a bite of his burger and looked at his watch.**

"**You have 30 minutes to get a shower and pack some clothes," he told Elliot as he stood up and began to walk away.**

**Elliot jumped up and grabbed hold of Gibb's arm.**

"**I told you last night I'm not fucking going with you," he snarled. "I don't need to go to Washington D.C to figure things out, I can do it right here and I sure as hell don't need a fucking baby sitter."**

**Gibbs shrugged his shoulders. "Okay," he said taking another bite of the burger.**

"**What that's it…. just Okay," said Elliot not quite sure why Gibbs was backing down all of a sudden when last night he basically ordered him to Washington. They had argued about it for over an hour. Pissed off and angry Elliot had downed half a bottle of whisky as Gibbs just watched him without saying a word. He had then passed out on the couch.**

"**I can't force you to come with me Stabler and let me help you. So stay here," he said reaching into a bag down by the chair he had been sitting on. He pulled out a bottle of unopened Vodka and threw it to Elliot. "Stay here and drink that," he told him. He then threw Elliot the gun he had been holding when Gibbs had arrived last night. "It's still got that one round in it," he told him.**

**Elliot just looked at him. "I wasn't…. I wasn't….I would never…"**

"**Yes you would. It might not have happened last night but it will if you stay here," said Gibbs taking another bite, before turning his back on Elliot and walking to the door. "I will wait for another call from your Son," he said without turning around.**

"**Dickie won't be calling you again," said Elliot.**

"**Yes he will," said Gibbs turning around. "He will call to tell me you were found with a hole in your head surrounded by empty bottles, maybe he will even find you. Or one of your daughters visiting with your younger son. But either way if you stay here and carry on like you are I will be getting another call."**

**Elliot just stood staring at Gibb's, he could feel his anger rising at his words.**

"**Suicide is a sin," said Elliot gripping the bottle and gun in his hands.**

"**Yes it is," he said before turning back and opening the door, slamming it behind him.**

**Elliot stood staring at the door the rage inside him building. He looked around the room at the photos of his kids and the one of him and Olivia.**

"**FUCK!" he yelled as he launched the bottle of vodka against the wall the bottle exploding. He dropped to his knees and buried his head in his hands as he cried.**

**Fifteen minutes later Gibbs finished his cup of coffee and threw the empty cup into a bag along with the burger wrapper and put the key in the ignition.**

"**You got everything you need?" he asked Elliot as he slammed the passenger door shut. **

"**Yeah," he said quietly, turning his head towards Gibbs. "Why didn't you leave?"**

"**Call it a hunch," said Gibbs.**

"**You really think you can help me?" he asked him his eyes red from crying.**

"**Only one way to find out," smiled Gibbs putting his hand on Elliot's shoulder.**

**Elliot nodded and looked out the window as Gibbs pulled away from the side walk.**

Present day

They both sat looking up at the door to the station.

"You okay?" she asked him.

He turned to her and smiled taking hold of her hand.

"It should be me asking you that," he said as he raised her hand to his mouth and kissed it softly.

She shrugged her shoulders.

"It's your first time back her since Jenna, it's bound to hit you hard."

"I'll be okay," he looked at his watch. "Come on we best go or your gonna be late."

They climbed out the car and walked to the front. Elliot took hold of Olivia's hand as they walked up the steps into the building. Elliot looked around as they walked through the station. He recognised a few people some smiled most just stared at him.

"Feel like I have two heads or something," he said leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"It could have something to do with the fact you have been missing for three years, then just turn up walking through the station holding my hand, people are gonna be a little confused."

"Yeah I guess," he said as they stopped outside IAB's office. He turned her so they were facing each other. "You gonna be okay?" he asked her putting one hand on her waist and the other brushing her hair behind her ear.

"I guess knowing you're gonna be right out here waiting for me helps."

"Yeah well I'm not going anywhere," he smiled at her. He leant in and kissed her lips softly his fingers running through her hair.

"Sgt Benson," said a familiar voice from behind Elliot's back.

Elliot pulled back and cupped her face "I love you," he whispered to her.

"I love you to," she smiled at him.

"If you would like to come in we can get this over and done with," said Tucker.

Elliot nodded at Olivia and finally turned around to face Tucker. Tuckers mouth dropped open as he stood and stared at Elliot.

"Stabler!" he said as he watched Elliot put his arm around Olivia's waist.

"Tucker," said Elliot as both men stared at each other.

"Your back."

"So it would seem," said Elliot leaving loose of Olivia as she stepped towards the office.

"Don't go anywhere," she said to him.

"I will wait right here," he told her still staring at Tucker as she disappeared into the office as Tucker turned and followed her in. Elliot took a deep breath and sat down in the chair next to him. He dropped his head back and closed his eyes.

He sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He looked up at the clock Olivia had been in the office for almost an hour. He sighed and rubbed his eyes before dropping his forward and looking at the floor. A few moments later the door flung open and Olivia stormed out.

"Sgt Benson," said Tucker following her out. "Think about what I am saying."

Elliot stood up and went to Olivia.

"What's the matter, what's happened?" he asked her seeing her eyes were red from crying and she was still upset. "What the fuck did you say to her," he snapped at Tucker.

"Back off Stabler, this has nothing to do with you."

"Like hell it hasn't. Look at the state of her," he said wrapping his arms around her. "It's okay Baby, its okay," he said softly to her.

"They….. they want me to say I killed him," she said holding back the tears. "They want me to lie and say I pulled the trigger."

Elliot glared at Tucker "What the hell you trying to pull?"

"I'm trying to help her."

"How by getting her to admit she did something she didn't."

"Look all the evidence points towards Sgt Benson pulling that trigger."

"I don't care what the evidence says she didn't pull that fucking trigger, why the hell would you want her to admit that."

Cause if she says now that she pulled the trigger in self-defence, that she had no choice and that she did it to save the girl and herself, then that will be the end of it."

"But I didn't pull the trigger. I didn't shoot him he shot himself."

"Sgt Benson, I'm trying to help you here. They are going to try and say you went to Lewis with the intention of killing him. After your declaration on TV that you lied in court last time, they are never going to believe he pulled the trigger himself," said Tucker.

"I don't care," said Olivia walking towards Tucker and standing in front of him. "I didn't kill that bastard and there is no way I'm going to say I did."

"Fine," said Tucker turning away and going back into his office and slamming the door.

"Olivia, what's he on about….what declaration on TV?"

"It's nothing," she said going to walk past him.

"Hey stop," he said taking hold of her arm and turning her to face him. "Talk to me, what the hell happened?"

Olivia sighed and looked down to the floor. Elliot put his fingers under her chin and lifted her head. "What happened?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "Lewis said if I didn't publicly come clean and tell everyone I lied in court about what happened at the beach house he was going to kill the girl."

"Jesus," said Elliot. "So you done what he asked."

"Yeah, I didn't have a choice, but now it's out there that I lied under oath. And cause of that if it goes to court and they find me guilty of shooting him I could lose everything my job, my pension and I could end up in prison," she said as the tears flowed down her face.

Without a word Elliot pulled her to him and held her tight.

"That's never going too happened," he whispered into her hair. "You're not going anywhere cause of that bastard." His un wrapped his arms from her and cupped her face. "We will find a way to fight this," he said dropping his head to hers.

"I won't say I pulled that trigger, that's what he wants, what he wanted. I won't give in to him."

"I know Sweetheart, I know," he said kissing her softly before pulling her back into his arms.

"Olivia," said a voice from behind them.

Elliot let go of her and she stepped around him. "Hey Nick, Amanda" she said wiping her eyes as Elliot turned around.

Nick and Amanda both stared at Elliot as he put his arm around Olivia.

"I Erm, I don't think you guys have met," she said with a small smile. "This is…."

"Elliot Stabler," said Fin from behind them.

Elliot and Olivia both looked past Nick and Amanda to Fin.

"As in your ex-partner Stabler," said Nick. "The one who left without a word, and wouldn't answer your calls for three years."

"That exact one," said Fin glaring at Elliot.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for all the great reviews and messages about this story. It's nice to have such good feedback. Hope you all continue to enjoy it.

Chapter 5

**Nick and Amanda both stared at Elliot as he put his arm around Olivia.**

"**I Erm, I don't think you guys have met," she said with a small smile. "This is…."**

"**Elliot Stabler," said Fin from behind them.**

**Elliot and Olivia both looked past Nick and Amanda to Fin.**

"**As in your ex-partner Stabler," said Nick. "The one who left without a word, and wouldn't answer your calls for three years."**

"**That exact one," said Fin glaring at Elliot.**

Fin glared at Elliot across the corridor.

"But I thought you hadn't heard from him," said Nick. "You haven't mentioned him for ages."

"I know," said Olivia as she felt Elliot's hand on the small of her back.

"Does Brian know he has wormed his way back into your life?" asked Fin. Olivia felt Elliot tense up next to her at the mention of Brian as he continued to stare at Fin.

"It's not like that Fin."

"Sure it is," he said walking forward towards them. "You're all over the news and suddenly here he is as though nothing has happened."

Fin stopped in front of Elliot only a few feet away from him.

"Three years," said Fin. "Three years no calls, no letters, nothing. She cried for you for months after you left you selfish bastard. Was it too hard to pick up the phone and call her or even text? She went through hell when you just left…."

"Fin…." Said Olivia reaching out and touching his arm to try and stop him yelling, as people began to look. Fin ignored her, his eyes never leaving Elliot.

"Where the hell were you, when Lewis had here for four days huh? She needed you, she needed her damn partner. She needed the guy who always promised to have her back but you were nowhere in sight. For years I always thought you were a selfish prick Stabler, only thinking of yourself putting yourself first…."

The door to Tuckers office opened and he came out to see what all the yelling was about.

"But I never thought you would treat Liv like shit. I don't know what lies you have gave her, for her to be able to see you again but I'm telling you now back off, because she doesn't need you."

Olivia looked at Fin and then Elliot; she could see the anger rising in Elliot as Fin laid into him.

"Fin stop….please," she begged him.

"She doesn't need you Stabler, she has moved on. So just crawl back to wherever you crawled out from and leave her alone. She has us and Cassidy to look out for her now…. So just back the fuck off."

They stood starring at each other as other people in the corridor watched them.

"You quite finished?" asked Elliot.

"Elliot…." said Olivia looking up at him, and taking his hand to try and calm him. Fin looked down at their hands joined together.

"No Liv, he has said his piece now it's my turn," he said giving her a small smile before turning back to Fin. "You honestly think it was easy for me to walk away from her? To leave her like I did. I almost lost everything after I shot Jenna. I hit rock bottom. I lost my wife; my kids were scared of me. I spent every night so drunk that I couldn't remember anything. I got into fights and not so I could hurt other people but so that they could hurt me, causes I hated myself….. I hated what I had done and what I had become….."

Elliot could feel everyone's eyes on him as he stood toe to toe with Fin.

"I held my gun to my head so many times wishing I could just pull the trigger but I was such pathetic loser I couldn't even do that. So yes I turned my back on Liv and walked away from her, and yes I know I hurt her, but I was no good for her the state I was in and I didn't deserve her friendship or support. I had to let her go and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do," he felt Olivia's hand grip his tight as he talked.

"And don't you stand there and tell me you all have her back and you will all look out for her, cause that didn't happen the first time Lewis took her did it. You all knew he had got to her when she interviewed him, and she had pissed him off, but you let her go home alone and not one of you checked on her, not even Cassidy. For two days he had her and not one of her so called friends, boyfriend or partner," he said glaring at Nick called her. "Two days that fucking prick tortured her while you all had a good weekend…. So fucking bravo," said Elliot starting to clap in Fin's face. "You all did a stand up job there having her back."

Olivia watched as Fin threw a punch at Elliot, but Elliot was too quick and grabbed his arm spinning him round and pinning Fin against the wall.

"And where the fuck were you!" yelled Fin. "You weren't there either; you didn't even show up after it was on the news or when she was in hospital. Where the hell were you then? You can think what you want about us but at least we were here, at least we tried to find her and we were there for her afterwards. Where the hell were you?"

"In fucking Afghanistan!" yelled Elliot. "Do you really think I wouldn't have come to help find her? Do you really think I wouldn't have been there at the hospital? I never found out until it was over. When my boss managed to contact me, and trust me I tried everything to get home but I couldn't."

Fin stopped struggling so Elliot slowly released his arm. Fin turned to face him.

"Afghanistan?"

Elliot nodded. "I got in touch with Liv as soon as I could."

Fin looked at Olivia.

"Why didn't you tell us he got in touch?" he asked her.

"Because I didn't want to," she said honestly. "I didn't want all the questions that I knew I would get. When I needed him, really needed him he came back to me. And we slowly got to know each other again."

"Does Brian know?"

Olivia shook her head. "Fin, Brian and me split up ages ago. He isn't working away undercover we broke up."

"But…. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to answer all the questions I knew I would get. I was going to tell you all but then Lewis escaped."

"Well I for one am glad," said Nick. "The guy was a sleazy prick."

Olivia looked a Nick and smiled. "Thanks," she said. Nick smiled back at her and shrugged his shoulders. Olivia looked back to Fin who was looking down at her and Elliot's hands grasped together. "Fin although you didn't know it Elliot has been here for me for the last nine months, well when he hasn't been out in Afghanistan or somewhere else, and we are closer now than we ever were when we were partners."

"So I can see," he said nodding at their joined hands. "I take it this is the reason you and Cassidy split up."

"Part of the reason," she smiled. "Look why don't we go for a drink and we will explain everything, cause after the morning I have had, I could do with one," she said looking at Tucker.

"I'm in," said Amanda. "Been dying to meet the famous Elliot Stabler," she grinned.

"Yeah me to," said Nick.

"Fin?" she asked.

Fin looked at Elliot "Sure," he said. "And sorry for taking a swing at you," he said to Elliot.

"Ah it was a pussy of a swing anyway," smiled Elliot holding his hand out. "Sorry for giving you shit about not being there for her."

Amanda started to laugh. "Do you reckon their gonna kiss and make up now?" she asked making Olivia laugh.

"Think there is more chance of Tucker getting a personality than that happening," said Olivia. Tucker grunted and walked back into his office slamming the door behind him, as Elliot and Fin shook hands.

_9 Months ago_

"_You want me to come up with you?" asked Abby as she stopped the car outside Elliot's apartment._

"_If you don't mind I would like a little time to myself," she said giving her a small smile. She was still a little upset over what Gibbs had told her on the plane about how bad Elliot was when he found him._

_Abby nodded and handed her the keys. "Why don't I leave you here to settle in and rest a while, when I go home and unpack. Then in a few hours I will pick you up and take you to NCIS so you can meet everyone else."_

"_Sure," said Olivia. She was still a little freaked out that all these people she had never met and didn't even know about seemed to know so much about her. She climbed out the car and grabbed her small bag from the seat. "See you soon," she said. Abby smiled and waved before pulling away into the traffic._

_Olivia put her bag down and looked at the door as she fumbled with the keys. She knew Elliot wasn't there, behind the door, but his life was. This life he had been living for almost two years without her. She finally got the key in the lock and pushed the door open slightly as she picked up her bag before walking in. She leaned back against the door closing it and looked around the room._

"_Wow," she said to herself as she took it all in. It was a large spacious open plan room. There were two large windows, a large fireplace and a huge TV on the wall. In the middle or the room was a larger leather couch with a rug and coffee table in front._

_She left her bag by the door and waked further into the room looking over at the large kitchen that was separated from the living room by a counter. _

_She walked over to the object in the corner and chuckled when she realised it was a large old fashioned Space Invader game machine. She looked out the large window at the city before walking over to the fireplace. There were photos of all his kids some of them alone some with him. She picked the one up of him and all his kids with a snowman in the middle of them smiling as she saw how happy they all looked._

_When Gibbs had given her the key to Elliot's apartment and told her to stay there as it would be what he wanted she thought it would feel weird. But it wasn't, she had never felt this relaxed since before Lewis. For the first time in a long time she felt safe and happy. _

_She walked towards the corridor out of the living area and stopped at the first door pushing it opened. She smiled when she saw all the toys and the small bed that looked like a car. She closed the door and moved on._

_The next room had three beds which she guessed where for the older kids when they stayed. Next she found a bathroom, which then left only one room, Elliot's._

_She pushed the door open and walked in. There was a huge bed, a mirror hung on the wall above the head board and on the opposite wall a large TV. It was tastefully decorated like the rest of the house. She walked through a small archway and gasped as she entered the ensuite bathroom._

_There was a large double shower with biggest shower head she had ever seen and in the corner a large Jacuzzi bath._

"_I guess whatever you're doing now pays better than the NYPD," she chuckled to herself as she walked back into the bedroom. She walked to the side of the bed and picked up the photo on the stand. It was another one of Elliot's kids. She put it down and looked over to the other side of the bed at the photo there and her heart began to race. She knelt on the bed and reached over picking up the photo._

_A tear rolled down her cheek as she looked at the picture of her and Elliot from 5 years ago. They were at the station Christmas Party and someone was going around randomly taking photos. She couldn't believe Elliot had actually got a copy of it. They were both smiling at each other holding a drink and leaning against the bar. _

_She lay down on his bed and turned on her side putting the photo back on the night stand and continued to stare at it as her eyes closed. She could smell the faint smell of aftershave on the pillow, she pulled it to her and wrapped her arms around it as she cuddled it and slowly drifted off to sleep._

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Olivia jumped as she was woken up by someone banging on the door. She sat up and looked at the clock she had been asleep for almost three hours; she couldn't remember the last time she slept so long. _

_She stood up as the banging continued on the door._

"_I'm coming!" she yelled as she walked to the door and pulled it open._

"_Thank god," said Abby with a hand on her chest. "I thought something was wrong."_

"_I fell asleep," Olivia explained. "I didn't hear you knock." She stood back so Abby could come in._

"_You're okay, that's all that matters," she smiled. "You ready to head off and meet everyone, see where Elliot works?"_

"_Sure just give me five minutes to freshen up," she said heading to the bathroom._

_Abby went to the Space Invader machine and turned it on. She was so engrossed in her game she didn't hear Olivia come back in the room._

"_I will beat your high score Stabler," she said as she eyes concentrated on the screen. "One day it will be mine."_

_She heard Olivia chuckle behind her._

"_I used to have the highest score," said Abby not looking at her. "He played it for weeks until he beat me. I need to get back on the top and wipe that smug look off his face."_

"_I take it you spend a lot of time here," said Olivia leaning on the wall next to the game._

"_Yeah, quite a bit when he is home. We hang out and eat Pizza, play on this thing," she stopped playing and turned to Olivia. "Talk about you and his old life."_

_Olivia gave her a little smile. "I'm finding it hard to get my head around the fact you all know about me, yet I didn't even know you all existed until yesterday."_

"_He wanted to call you, he really did. The amount of times we would sit here and he would get your number up on the phone. I kept willing him to press the call button but he never did."_

"_Do you know why?"_

"_Because he knew he had hurt you. Because he was embarrassed after what happened with him. He felt like he had let everyone down, especially you."_

"_He should have called."_

"_Yeah he should have and don't worry I told him that as well, but he could never get the courage to do it….. Until now."_

"_Yeah," she smiled. "I'm so glad he did, and I'm so glad I took Gibbs up on his offer to come and stay, it's just what I needed."_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Olivia followed Abby out of the Elevator into the large office. She couldn't believe the security they had here compared to the station._

"_Ah Detective Benson," said Tony from his desk. "You decided to come and see where the real work is done," said as he lay back in his chair and put his feet on the desk._

"_I have Very Special Agent DiNozzo, I believe Abby is taking me there after we stop by here to see you," she smiled._

"_Ouch, i'm hurt," he said putting a hand to his chest._

"_Where's Gibbs?" asked Abby._

"_In with the director," he said standing up and walking round the front of his desk and sitting on the edge. "I have been told to tell you to head down to the lab, there is some evidence down there for you to look at."_

"_But what about Olivia?"_

"_I will look after her," he smiled._

_Abby walked up to Tony and stood in front of him. "Well make sure you do," she said prodding his chest._

"_Of course I will I'm not stupid. Elliot is still pissed at me for scratching his car. Do you really think I would let anything happen to the love of…..OW! He yelled as Abby kicked him in the shin and glared at him putting a finger to her lips warning him to shut up._

_Olivia looked between them obviously missing something. Abby turned to Olivia._

"_See you in a bit when you get the tour," she said waving and walking to the Elevator. Olivia looked around the office and looked at the empty but tidy desk._

"_Is that Elliot's desk?" she asked Tony._

"_Yeah," he nodded as Olivia walked over to it and pulled out the chair sitting down._

"_Does he always work the over sea missions?" she asked him._

"_Mostly, when he first started here Gibbs kept him in the office. But it didn't take long for him to get restless. He threatened to leave unless Gibbs let him go out on jobs. Because of his Marine training and his time with the NYPD Gibbs let him go and do the jobs out in Afghanistan. I think he just needed to be kept busy, so he didn't think too much."_

"_Did you see him when Gibbs brought him here from New York?"_

"_Not at first, it was a couple of weeks before Gibbs brought him in here."_

"_I just want to know everything that happened… you know. I need to know what happened with him."_

"_Your best getting Gibbs to tell you. I do know he was in a bad way though."_

_Olivia nodded and looked down at his desk. "But he's okay now?"_

"_Yeah, he is. Still a moody bastard at times, but getting better."_

"_Nice to see some things are the same with him," she smiled._

"_Hey Olivia," said Gibbs. "You been here long."_

"_No just got here, Tony has been looking after me."_

"_Well why don't we get a coffee before I show you around and I will fill you in a little more of what happened with Stabler."_

_**17 months earlier**_

_**Elliot rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. They had got to Gibbs place the night before and he had gone straight to bed. The had drove almost the full way in silence, stopping only for coffee and for Elliot to throw up, as his hangover kicked in. He sat up and dropped his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his face. This was the first morning for months he had woken up sober and without a hangover, and he felt like shit.**_

_**He pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt before walking out the bedroom. He walked into the kitchen Gibbs was sitting at the table reading a paper and drinking coffee.**_

"_**There is coffee in the pot," he said without looking up from the paper. "Or juice in the fridge."**_

_**Elliot went to the fridge for a juice. As he opened the door his eyes went straight to the top shelf and the packs of beer. He turned and looked at Gibbs who was still looking at the paper.**_

"_**The juice is on the bottom shelf," he told him. "Unless of course you want to give up already then by all means help yourself."**_

_**Elliot looked at the beers once more before grabbing the juice and slamming the door shut. He turned around and pulled a chair out and sat down.**_

"_**Why are you doing this?" he asked Gibbs. "Why do you care what happens to me, we haven't seen each other for years."**_

_**Gibbs sighed and put the paper down. "You saved my life," he told Elliot leaning forward on the table. "You put yourself in danger to save me. You had a wife and kid at home but you put me first. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here now, to kick your sorry ass back into shape. I guess I just figured I owed you one."**_

"_**You would have done the same thing if it had been me lying there," said Elliot.**_

"_**Would I?"**_

"_**Yeah you would," said Elliot sipping his juice. "It's what we were trained for."**_

_**Gibbs stood up and poured himself another coffee. "I owe you Stabler for what you done, you stopped me from being shot and carried me to safety whilst under enemy fire."**_

"_**I shot a little kid; there was nothing brave in that. The same way as there was nothing brave about shooting Jenna."**_

_**Gibbs sat down across from Elliot. "Tell me about your partner."**_

"_**I don't have a partner."**_

"_**Fine tell me about your ex-partner."**_

"_**There's nothing to tell," he said staring down at the table. "She was just my partner."**_

"_**Nothing to tell huh," smiled Gibbs. "From what I understand you were partners for 13 years, you must have cared for her developed some feelings for her?"**_

_**Elliot shrugged really wishing he could have one of those beers in the fridge.**_

"_**I mean you must have felt something for her, that's why you took the shot right, for her, to save her."**_

_**Elliot sat in silence. As Gibbs stared at him from across the table.**_

"_**How long were you in love her?"**_

_**Elliot snapped his head up.**_

"_**I …. I wasn't in love with her," he stammered. "We were partners, that's all."**_

"_**Sure you were….. You still are," he smiled.**_

"_**You don't know what you're talking about. I was married; I still am married… sort of. I have five kids for god's sake. I loved my wife."**_

"_**Yet you still fell in love with her. Maybe you didn't mean to, but it happened."**_

"_**I…. I…."**_

"_**Did she know? Did she feel the same way for you?"**_

_**Elliot shook his head. "No she didn't know, and I don't know how she felt for me. I think a lot of the time she wanted to kill me cause I was such a prick to her. I wanted to tell her, I just couldn't. I couldn't do that to Kathy and the kids. I couldn't do it to her." he said. "I took that shot, not to save anyone else in that office but to save her, because I loved her, because the thought of my life without her in it….." he shook his head side to side as he spoke.**_

"_**And yet here you are. Alone, and without her in your life. Have you even talked to her yet? About what happened that day?"**_

"_**No, I couldn't. She called me over and over, text me, left voice mails, but I never replied I couldn't. I saw the look in her eyes after the shooting as I knelt beside Jenna. I let her down. We were supposed to protect the kids and the victims and I didn't. Yet again I put her first and a child died. I told her we could never do that again. But I did."**_

"_**You shot a child before to save her?"**_

"_**What? No. But a kid died because I went to her instead of him. Her throat had been cut I thought she was going to die, so I went to her to help her."**_

"_**I don't understand?" said Gibbs. "How is it your fault a kid died because you went to your partner?"**_

"_**Because she didn't need me. She was okay, she didn't need my help," he said getting angry and standing up pacing the room. "I had a choice to grab the boy or go to her and I went to her. I let my feelings for her cloud my judgement and because of that a little boy lost his life, and she was okay."**_

"_**But what if she hadn't been okay, what if you had gone for the boy and something happened to her, what if that cut was a deep one and it killed her. What if in that squad room you hadn't taken the shot and Jenna had shot Olivia instead? You did what you had to do, you done the right thing, just like you did all those years ago in Iraq. Not all the bad guys are six foot muscle men, wearing a mask and carrying a gun Elliot. Sometimes they are kids. Jenna came into a police station with a gun she knew what she was doing. She open fired not caring who she hit. Yes she had been through a lot and lost everything but did that give her the right to take the three lives she did before you stopped her. No it didn't."**_

"_**I could have shot her in the leg or the arm I didn't need to kill her."**_

"_**Elliot I saw the footage from the station cameras," said Gibbs. "It was a good clean shot, you warned her. But she turned and pointed the gun towards Olivia, who was unharmed on the floor cradling the nun in her arms. If you hadn't taken the kill shot, she could have still fired her weapon. You didn't do anything wrong. You were cleared of any wrong doing. So why the hell are you punishing yourself like this?" Elliot looked at him biting his bottom lip.**_

"_**I just…. It just, it got too much for me," he confessed. "All the cases we were involved in no matter what we done, or how many arrests we made there was always another sick bastard waiting for us. We never got a break, so what the hell was the point."**_

"_**You're really asking that question?"**_

"_**When I put the round into Jenna's chest, I became just as bad as all those other Perps I put away. I couldn't protect her." Elliot stared at him from the wall he was leaning against. "I… I need a drink," he said walking to the fridge and flinging the door open. He grabbed a beer and twisted the top off it and stared down at the bottle in his hand. He felt Gibbs standing next to him. He watched as Gibbs stuck something to the fridge, he couldn't see it properly as his hand still covered it.**_

"_**I can't stop you drinking that bottle if that's what you really want to do. You're a good man Elliot and you have done good things. I read your file last night, after I had one of men get it for me. I can't even imagine the things you have seen and dealt with when working SVU. The amount of kids you have helped and saved from a life time of abuse and hurt. It takes a special kind a person to do that job for as long as you did. Maybe you couldn't save them all but I'm sure if you asked all those people you did help what the point was, that they could tell you."**_

_**Elliot continued to stare down at the beer in his hand.**_

"_**There are five kids that are hurting right now. Five kids who need you more than ever. Five kids who want their dad back so he can look out for them and keep them safe. Don't let them down," Gibbs removed his hand from the fridge and Elliot stared at the photo of his kids. "I need to go into work for a while," said Gibbs. "I will see you when I get back."**_

_**Elliot heard the back door shut as he stood in front of the fridge looking at the photo. He reached up and took the photo down his eyes went between the photo it and the opened bottle of beer in his other hand. He let out a shaky breath as he turned and poured the bottle down the plug hole dropping the bottle into the sink.**_

_**Outside Gibbs looked through the window watching him a smile on his face. "That's my boy," he said to himself as he watched Elliot pour the drink away and walk out the kitchen.**_

Present Day

"You okay?" asked Elliot putting his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. They had spent the last couple of hours explaining everything to Fin, Nick and Amanda. From what happened when Elliot left to the present day.

"I'm good, just tired," she smiled. "I'm glad it's all out in the open now. I know we agreed to keep quiet about you being back but it was hard for me."

"Well they know everything now so you don't need to hide it."

"And at least Fin can stop hating you now for leaving me."

"Yeah well I still beat myself up about that part, I was an idiot."

"No you weren't and we have been through this, you had your reasons El."

"Yeah well…"

"Yeah well nothing," she smiled looking into his eyes. "Kiss me," she whispered to him.

Elliot looked at her and grinned.

"You have never kissed me out in public in New York since we got together, in fact we have never been out in public together in New York…. so kiss me."

Elliot cupped her face with his hand and pulled her to him "Would love to Sgt Benson," he whispered as his lips met hers and he kissed her softly, their lips barely touching at first. "I love you so much," he breathed into her mouth before he deepened the kiss and Olivia sighed into his mouth.

Amanda looked across the bar to them and nudged Fin nodding her head towards them.

"Her full time with Brian and I never saw her kiss him like that," she said.

"Yeah well that could have something to do with fact she has been in love with Stabler for as long as I can remember. She would never admit it, but she was. Just like he was in love with her."

"So why didn't she ever tell him?"

"Cause he was married and Liv would never do that, she respected him and his family too much."

Elliot pulled back slightly "Let's go home," he said. "I'm sure I promised to spoil you tonight…. Plus if you keep kissing me like that I'm not gonna be able to walk soon," he chuckled as she looked down between them to his pants.

"Let's get out of here," she said standing up and taking his hand and pulling him over to the other three. "We are going to get out of here," Olivia told them as Elliot stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder kissing her neck softly.

"Sure," said Nick.

"How long you in town for?" Fin asked Elliot.

"Not sure yet. I need to go to Washington to speak with my boss, but not sure when."

"You gonna go with him?" asked Amanda.

"Yeah probably, get away for a few days. Plus we are hoping the kids are gonna come and stay for a few days, they always do when he comes home."

Fin leant in and kissed Olivia's cheek.

"Take care of her," he said to Elliot holding his hand out to him.

"I will," he said shaking his hand.

The three of them watched as Elliot and Olivia left the bar Elliot's arm around her waist. Fin sighed and picked up his drink taking a large drink from it.

"What's wrong?" asked Amanda.

"She never even mentioned work or coming back," he said. "In the past whenever something has happened you couldn't keep her away. Cragen used to have to threaten her to take time off."

Amanda and Nick looked at him.

"You don't think she is gonna come back, do you?" said Nick.

"Could we really blame her if she didn't? After what she has been through the last year, the times she has put her life on hold for this job. She finally has what she has always wanted, a chance to be happy." he smiled before ordering another round of drinks.

**Next up they head back to Washington and in the flashbacks Elliot and Olivia meet again for the first time since he left. Please keep the reviews coming it brightens my day.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Parts of this chapter are a little M rated. I am going to change the rating to M rated for the next chapter just to give people prior notice. I find it a little hard to hold back on some of the scenes lol.**

**Thanks for all the kind words and reviews. **

**Sorry it took so long to update but I have been busy with work and family stuff.**

Chapter 6

Olivia lay in her bath surrounded by bubbles. As soon as they had got home Elliot had ran the bath for her and lit all the candles to help her relax. He had left her alone to relax whilst he busied himself in the living room telling her not to come out and that he would come to get her.

She opened her eyes and sat up and grabbed the sponge from the side of the bath. As she washed herself she looked down at her wrists. They were still bruised and cut from the handcuffs Lewis had used. She gently washed them letting the hot water run over them.

Her eyes wandered over her body and the faint scars and burns that were still visible from the first time Lewis had her.

"You okay?"

She looked over to the door way to the bathroom. Elliot was stood there leaning against the door frame; he had changed and was only wearing a pair of sweatpants.

She nodded as he walked towards her and knelt down by the side of the bath.

"I don't know how you can even look at me," she said quietly.

"Because you're beautiful," he told her swirling his hand around in the water

"But look at the state of me," she said running her fingers over her chest lightly touching the scars. "There so ugly."

"No there not," he said moving his fingers with hers over the scars. "They are a reminder that you're still alive. I would rather look at these scars than visit your graveside," he said raising himself up and kissing the largest of the scars just above her left breast. "These prove you never gave up to him. You fought him and won Liv, and I love every one of your scars for that reason."

"I guess you're just as bad," she smiled her wet fingers touching the scar on the left hand side of his chest.

""Yeah," he smiled back at her. "I guess both our bodies have a story to tell." He stood up and got the towel before taking her hand and helping her from the bath. He wrapped the towel around her and pulled her into his arms.

"I love you Liv. I don't care about the scars you have. You are gorgeous and I love every part of you, just maybe some parts more than others," he grinned lifting the towel up and grabbing her ass cheeks gently squeezing them. He felt her chuckle against his chest.

"Your amazing do you know that," she said kissing his chest.

"I know…. You have screamed it a few times the last few months," he chuckled earning himself a slap on the back.

"You can also be an Ass," she smiled.

"Yeah but I'm your ass," he said kissing the top of her head. "And you love me."

"Yeah you are," she sighed as he held her tightly in his arms. "And I do."

"Come on," he said un wrapping his arms from around her and taking her hand and leading her into the other room.

Olivia smiled as they entered the room. He had pushed the couch back and made a makeshift bed of cushions and blankets on the floor, candles places around the room were their only source of light. Next to the bed on the floor was an ice bucket and a bottle of champagne and next to that the massage oil. Music was playing quietly in the background.

"All those years as partners and I never realised how much of a romantic your are," she said as he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind.

"I wasn't, you bring out the best in me," he said as he undone the towel and removed it from her. "Lie down," he whispered in her ear, his lips gently touching her ear.

Olivia turned in his arms and reached for the waistband of his sweat pants.

"Liv this night is for you," he said taking hold of her hands and stopping her from pulling his pants down.

"I know, and when you massage me I want to feel your naked body against mine," she said pulling her hands from his and pushing his pants down.

"Do you know how hard it will be for me if we are both naked," he sighed as he stepped out of pants. "I'm gonna want to make love to you…."

"That's what I'm hoping for," she winked.

"But Liv, I wanted to spoil you, and help you relax, to make you feel good ….this wasn't about me."

"So make me feel good," she said stepping away and lying down. "Do you want me on my back of my front first," she smiled as she propped herself up on her elbows and looked up at him. Her body glowing in the candle light.

Elliot looked down at his erection. "Jesus, down boy," he said under his breath making Olivia giggle. "Erm maybe its best you lie on your stomach first and I will do your back," he mumbled.

"Okay," she smiled turning over and lying on her stomach resting her head on her hands. "I'm all yours," she said wiggling her bum at.

"Did anyone ever tell you how evil you are?" he asked her as he knelt on the floor beside her picking up the massage oil.

Olivia jumped slightly as he poured some onto her back and into his hands as he straddled the top of her thighs. She could feel his erection pushing against her ass cheeks as he leant forward and began to rub and massage her shoulders.

"That feels so good," she mumbled as he worked his fingers into her aching muscles. "So good," she sighed as he slowly made his way down her back. He slid down over her legs and pushed them apart as he settled between them and massaged her feet first before slowly making his way up each leg.

He smiled when he felt her jump slightly as his hands moved to the inside of her thighs and his fingers brushed close to her pussy. She spread her legs a little wider for him as his fingers continued to move around her folds without actually touching her. He heard her moan as she moved slightly trying to make his fingers touch her.

He licked his lips as he noticed how wet she was becoming just from his touch.

"Jesus El, just touch me," she said to him as his hands massaged her ass cheeks and he ran a finger down between her perfect ass cheeks but stopping at her pussy.

He moved so he was hovering over her, his arms either side of her shoulders and dropped his head down so his mouth was slightly touching her ear.

"I am touching you Benson," he whispered as his now very erect cock pushed against her slick ass cheeks, slipping between them and rubbing against her wet pussy. She pushed her ass up to meet him and his cock rubbed against her clit.

"Hmmmmm that feels so good," she moaned as he gently lay his body over hers and sucked on her neck as they moved together, both their bodies becoming slick from the massage oil.

"Oh god El… I need you…."

"I know what you need baby," he breathed into her neck as he reached between them and guided himself into her as he spread her legs even further apart with his thighs as he filled her completely raising himself up slightly.

Olivia bit her lip as he entered her fully and he began to move slowly in and out of her, she pushed her ass up to meet his every thrust, "Oh baby," she moaned as she bit her lip as she felt Elliot's mouth licking and biting her softly across her shoulders as he moved gently inside her.

The only sound that could be heard was the music in the back ground and their breathing as they slowly made love.

Elliot heard Olivia sniff and her body slightly shudder.

"Liv," he said slowing his movements and resting inside her. "What's wrong?" he asked her as he realised she was crying.

"I'm okay," she sniffed.

"No you're not your crying."

"I'm just being stupid," she hiccupped. Elliot slowly withdrew from her. "No don't," she told him but it was too late as he fully withdrew. "I didn't want you to stop," she whimpered.

"Turn over," he said softly.

She sniffed again and wiped her eyes as she rolled over onto her back. She cupped his face with one hand whilst reaching between them with the other and taking hold of him and guiding him back into her.

"Why are you crying?" he asked her as they moved slowly together again.

"It's this stupid song," she told him.

Elliot listened to the music. "Against all odds, by Phil Collins makes you cry?" he smiled at her.

She gave a little nod. "When Cragen told me you weren't coming back…. This was the first song I heard in the car….. I just…. It's just, the words you know. I went home that night and listened to this damn song over and over as I got drunk and all I could think of was you and how you were never gonna come back to me. I didn't know how I was going to handle that. I got so drunk that night, I hated you so much for leaving me."

"Oh sweetheart," he said wiping the tears from her cheeks as he continued to move slowly inside her. "I was always coming back to you. It just took me a while."

"But I didn't know that…. Tonight is the first time I have heard this song since that that day. I guess it just brought back some things I would rather forget."

"I'm so sorry," he said as he pushed deep inside her. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You did, I know that now. You needed to sort yourself out first. But if you ever do that to me again…."

"I won't I swear to you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm never leaving you again."

He stopped moving inside her and kissed her softly biting down on her bottom lip.

"You can never promise that," she said to him as he released her lip. "We never know what might happen."

"Yes I can," he said. He lifted her up with him and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he moved so he was sitting up with her, still buried deep inside her.

"Nice move," she smiled. He smiled back at her before reaching under the cushion of the couch.

"El what are doing?"

"I was going to do this later after the massage, and before we made love, but that kind of didn't happen. But now seems the perfect time," he said as he opened the small box in his hand. Olivia gasped as she saw the white gold and diamond ring. "Olivia Benson, I love you more than I could ever say….will you marry me?" he asked her, as he looked up to her.

Olivia reached into the box without a word and took out the ring looking at it as tears fell down her cheeks.

"I would love to marry you," she said as the tears ran down her cheeks and she slipped the ring on her finger.

"Yeah," he grinned at her as she put the ring on.

"Yeah," she grinned back before he kissed her hard wrapping his arms tightly around her and holding her to him as she began to move on him and they continued to make love.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**9 Months earlier**

**Olivia jumped awake and grabbed for her phone.**

"**Benson," she mumbled into it.**

"**Hey baby," said Cassidy. "Thought I would give you a quick ring before I left for work."**

"**Hi," she said turning onto her side, her eyes level with the photo of her and Elliot.**

"**Yeah, I err I hadn't heard from you since you left the other night."**

**Olivia sighed as she thought back to their argument. "You mean since you stormed out because I wouldn't have sex with you."**

**Cassidy went quite for a while.**

"**Yeah well it's hard you know….. it's been a while and… and I have needs…..."**

"**Jesus," she said quietly under her breath.**

"**I just, I feel like, like you don't care anymore."**

"**What the hell you talking about?" she snapped sitting up in the bed. "You think because I don't want to put out for you only a few weeks after I was assaulted and tortured that I don't care about you?"**

"**Christ Liv when you put it like that, you make me sound like a….."**

"**Like a what Cassidy?" she asked him getting more and more annoyed and pissed at him. "Like the grade A Prick that you are being."**

"**Look…."**

"**You worked Special Victims; you know what it's like when someone has been attacked. I need time. I don't need you putting pressure on me to fuck you because you have needs. I have needs to. I need a boyfriend that understands. I need someone that is there for me, someone to hold me and tell me it will be alright. What I don't need is someone who storms off in a little tantrum because I won't lie on the bed with my legs spread for him," she yelled down the phone, tears streaming down her face. Before he could speak again she ended the call and turned off her phone. She lay back down and hugged the pillow next to her and inhaled the faint smell of Elliot that was still there.**

"**God I need you so much," she said looking up at the photo of him. "I really need you," she sobbed closing her eyes.**

**An hour later she had showered and was sitting having a cup of coffee. She had been in Washington a few days now and had met everyone Elliot now worked with. She had spent a lot of time with Abby in her lab listening as she talked about cases Elliot had worked on. Gibbs had also told her how Elliot had sorted himself out, stopped his excessive drinking and finally got some help. He started seeing a shrink and got himself back into shape. It was a few months later that an opening came up in NCIS and Gibbs talked Elliot into applying. It was also around this time he finally saw his kids again. He had been in touch on the phone but wanted to wait until he was in a good place to see them.**

**Olivia's phone rang and she looked down at the caller ID. Seeing it was Brian she ignored it and took her cup to the sink and rinsed it out. She turned and looked to her phone which had finally stopped ringing. She knew she needed to go home and sort it out with Brian. As much as she felt at home here in Elliot's apartment, it wasn't her home. Her home was in New York, at the Special Victims with Brian. Not in Washington with Elliot's new work colleagues and friends, people she hardly knew.**

**She picked up her phone and typed in a message.**

I will be home tonight we will talk then, Liv.

**She sent it to Brian before turning off her phone, grabbing her coat and bag and heading out to the NCIS building.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"**I can't believe you're going back so early," said Abby pulling her into a hug.**

"**I need to," she said hugging her back. "I couldn't stay here forever."**

"**I'm going to miss you," she said pulling a sad face.**

"**I'm going to miss you as well," she told her. "All of you," she said looking around the office. "You have all been so good to me."**

"**Yeah well, it was either that or get my ass kicked by Stabler when he returned," said DiNozzo. Ziva punched him in the arm. "Ow, what was that for?" he asked her grabbing his arm.**

"**For saying you were only nice to her cause of Elliot," she said glaring at him.**

"**I was only joking," he told her. "You didn't need to punch me." Ziva glared at him again before turning to Olivia.**

"**I will miss you," she told her. "At least when Elliot speaks of you now, I will know why he smiles so much."**

"**When's your flight?" asked McGee.**

"**I'm driving," she told them. "It's only a 5 hour drive."**

"**You sure you will be okay?" asked DiNozzo.**

**Olivia smiled at him "Careful DiNozzo it almost sounds like you care."**

**Tony stood up from his chair and hugged her "You know I do," he told her as she hugged him back.**

"**You need a lift to the Rental place?" asked McGee.**

"**No it's getting dropped off here," she smiled at him.**

"**You off somewhere Benson?" asked Gibbs coming down the stairs.**

"**Yeah, I decided it was time I should go back and start sorting out my mess of a life."**

"**You know you can stay as long as you want."**

"**I know, but I can't hide away here forever." **

**Gibbs nodded and smiled at her. "Well before you do you might want to stop by SATNAV on your way out," he told her looking up the stairs from where he had just come.**

"**SATNAV, why?" she asked.**

**Gibbs just smiled at her. "I think someone wants to talk to you again."**

**Olivia looked at him a little confused until it finally sunk in and a smile appeared on her face.**

"**Elliot?"**

**Gibbs nodded. **

"**How? He said it could be weeks before he was able link up again."**

"**I have my ways," he told her. He started to walk away. "You coming?" he asked her. Olivia looked at Abby who had a big grin on her face.**

"**Give him my love," she told Olivia.**

"**I will," she told her as she followed Gibbs up the stairs. She followed him into the secure room.**

"**You can leave," he told the young woman at the computer.**

"**Yes Sir," she said standing up and leaving the darkened room quickly.**

**Olivia looked at the large screen in front of her. It was still blank. Gibbs picked up a phone and pressed a number. "It's a go," he said before turning back to her.**

"**I will leave you alone to talk to him," he smiled at her before turning and walking to the door. Olivia turned to face the large screen. She wiped her hands on her jeans; she couldn't believe how nervous she was to talk to him again and how excited.**

**She stood patiently looking at the screen waiting for him to appear. After a few minutes nothing had appeared. She heard the door open behind her where Gibbs had left through.**

"**I think something has gone wrong," she said her eyes fixed to the screen.**

"**Yeah that sometimes happens," said the voice behind her.**

**Olivia stood frozen to the spot as she heard the voice. He body beginning to tremble. She bit her bottom lip as she slowly turned around fighting to hold the tears back. Her eyes focused on the floor. Once turned she slowly lifted her head and opened her eyes.**

"**Hi," he smiled nervously walking towards her.**

"**Hey," she replied as she watched him walk up to her. **

**They both stood staring at each neither talking. Olivia swallowed hard and lifted her hand up to his face and gently cupped it.**

"**Your back," she said quietly as her fingers brushed his cheek.**

"**Yeah," said Elliot. "Gibbs pulled a few strings."**

**Olivia nodded before bringing her hand back and slapping him hard across the face. Elliot's head snapped to the side with force of the slap.**

"**You Bastard," she sobbed before falling towards him and wrapping her arms around his neck. Elliot's arms went around her holding her tightly to him as they both cried.**

"**I should have come back sooner," he said to her.**

**She shook her head. "I should never have given up on you."**

"**You didn't give up on me Liv, I gave up on myself."**

"**I stopped calling and texting. I should have come to see you. But I was so pissed at you for leaving, I just gave up trying."**

"**I should have been there for you. If I had come back sooner, and got in touch with you….. Lewis would never….."**

"**Don't," she told him. "Nobody could have prevented what happened."**

**Elliot pulled back from her and lifted his hand wiping away her tears. "I would have made you blink your lights," he told her. "I would have checked on you," he said is voice cracking.**

"**You're here now that's all I care about," she said falling into his body as he held her tight. "I missed you so much."**

"**I missed you to," he whispered into her hair. "Every single day we were apart."**

**They stood in the darkened room just holding each other until they both finally stopped crying. Elliot pulled back slightly wiping his eyes, as Olivia done the same.**

"**Did the guys downstairs know you were here?" she asked him.**

**He shook his head. "No, only Gibbs and Director Vance." He told her.**

"**How did Gibbs manage to bring you home?"**

"**What Gibbs says goes," he smiled at her. "I didn't ask. All I cared about was getting home so I could see myself you were okay."**

"**When do you have to go back?"**

"**I don't know," he told her dropping his hands to hers and taking hold of them. "Gibbs said you were heading back to New York tonight," he said his voice cracking a little. "I know I don't have any right to ask you, and that you probably want to get home to Cassidy. But I was hoping you would stay a little longer. Ya know, so we could talk."**

**Olivia smiled up at him. "Wild Horses couldn't drag me away from here. I'm not going anywhere," she said wrapping her arms back around his waist and dropping her head to his chest.**

"**That's good to hear," he said holding her tight.**

**Elliot kissed the top of her head as they held each other; it was then that the realisation that they were holding each other came over Olivia. In all the years they were partners they had held each other twice, but never like this, they couldn't be any closer, and she didn't want it to end.**

**The door opened behind them and Gibbs came in.**

"**Sorry guys, but we need SATNAV back," he smiled at them.**

"**Sure Boss," said Elliot pulling away from Olivia.**

"**I guess everything is okay?" he asked them. "I mean I didn't hear any shouting or gunshots," he smiled.**

"**She got me with a good slap," said Elliot putting his hand to his face and rubbing where she hit him. **

"**You're lucky it wasn't a punch," she told him.**

"**Yeah I am," he said taking hold of her hand. Olivia didn't even try to stop him or pull away as he led her out of the office behind Gibbs.**

"**ELLIOT!" screamed Abby running towards them as they came down the stairs and flinging her arms around him.**

"**Hey Abby," he said hugging her.**

"**I'm so glad your home," she told him.**

"**Yeah me to," he smiled as she let go of him. "Where's Tony and Ziva?" he asked them.**

"**We just got a call," said Gibbs. "They have headed out to the scene; once McGee is done we are following them out."**

"**All done, Boss," he said hanging up the phone.**

"**All right lets go then," he said grabbing his coat.**

"**You need me to come?" asked Elliot.**

**Gibbs smiled at him. "You go home Stabler," he told him as McGee threw Elliot a set of keys, which he caught.**

"**She is downstairs waiting for you," he smiled at Elliot. "And I cancelled your rental," he told Olivia as him and Gibbs left.**

"**Well I best go to," said Abby hugging them both. "Glad you're staying now Olivia," she grinned as she bounced out the office leaving them both alone.**

"**You sure about staying?" he asked Olivia as he looked down at their joined hands.**

"**I'm sure," she told him squeezing his hand. "I just can't believe you are here," she said as he led her to the elevator.**

"**Trust me when I say I was just as surprised when I got the message to tell me I was flying home. I don't think I have ever moved so fast to get on that plane," he smiled at her as they got in the elevator. "And believe when I tell you Liv, if I had known what was going on with Lewis I would have got back sooner, I would have been there for you."**

"**I know you would El," she said leaning into him. "But in a way you were."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**You were in here," she said tapping the side of her head. "But we will talk about that later," she said as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. "We have a lot we need to talk about."**

**Elliot led her out and stopped dead in his tracks. "There's my baby," he grinned. Olivia looked to where he was looking.**

"**That's yours," she laughed.**

"**Oh yeah," he smiled stepping towards the black and chrome Harley Davison and handing Olivia a helmet. She took it from him shaking her head.**

"**What the hell happened to my partner?" she asked him as she pulled on the helmet.**

"**I started having fun and living my life," he told her. "And that is what you are going to start and do. Life is to short Liv and anything can happen, you need to start living," he said climbing on the back and turning the key, roaring her into life. "You coming," he yelled over the noise.**

**Olivia nodded and climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist.**

"**Hold on," he yelled as the bike roared out of the garage as Olivia held him tight.**

Present Day

"El."

"Yeah baby."

"Why tonight….. why now?" she asked him looking at the ring on her finger.

Elliot took a drink of his champagne and wrapped his arms around her and dropped his chin to her shoulder. They were sat on the floor naked after making love, twice. Elliot was sat with his back against the couch whilst Olivia sat between his legs resting her back against his chest as they drank champagne.

"You mean, did I ask you because of what happened with Lewis?"

"Yes…. No. I mean….. you didn't just ask me just because of what happened and because I said you couldn't promise not to leave again did you?"

Elliot chuckled against her shoulder and kissed her skin softly.

"Honey, I bought that ring the last time I was home," he told her. "I was going to ask you then, but I got rushed away on an assignment. I had it all planned, I was gonna take you out for a romantic meal and everything, it was all booked up. The ring has been hidden in your apartment the full time."

"It has?" she asked turning her head slightly to look at him.

"Yeah it has, I was worried sick you were going to find it. But I guess hiding it at the back of the cupboard with all the pots and pans was a good idea, it's not like you ever use them for cooking."

He grunted when she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Liv I asked you to marry me because I love you, as simple as that. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. It has nothing to do with Lewis, my work, the kids or your work. I want to marry you because I want everyone to know you are off limits and your mine."

Olivia groaned when his fingers began playing with her nipples.

"Your my life Liv, you mean everything to me, you always have and you always will. From the moment you walked into the precinct and announced you were my new partner I knew there was something special between us. It just took me 15 years to finally admit that. Your everything to me Liv."

"Oh god El," she groaned as his hand slipped down over her stomach and two fingers slipped between her hot wet folds and began to stroke her gently.

"Don't ever doubt my love for you Benson," he said as he sucked on her neck and his fingers slid into her wet opening.

"Oh god baby," she moaned as he moved his fingers gently inside her.

"Why did you say yes?" he asked her.

"That's easy," she said as she moved against his hand. "I said yes because you made all my dreams come true. All I ever wanted was to be yours, but something or someone was always in the way. I have loved you for so long Elliot Stabler and I can't wait to be yours and to let everyone know I'm yours."

Elliot removed his fingers and took hold of her hips and lifted her up. She reached down and took hold of his cock and guided it into her as he lowered her down onto himself and he pushed up inside her.

"I have always been yours El, and I always will, and I never want to be apart from you again….. that's why…. that's why I am handing in my papers," she told him as she moved her hips in a circular motion her inner walls gripping him hard. "I can't keep putting myself at risk."

"Are you sure," he gasped as he took hold of her breasts and gently massaged them and squeezing her nipples.

"Oh shit," she moaned as he sucked on her neck. "Your all I need, as long as we are together….. god that feels so good," she said as she moved up and down his shaft. "I'm only happy when we are together, I don't need anything or anyone else baby…. Only you," she said her body shuddering as she came. She felt Elliot thrust once more before his hot seed filled her as he released into her over and over.

She relaxed back against his chest "I love you Elliot Stabler," she smiled.

"Partners for life," he said kissing her shoulder.

"Always," she said turning her head and kissing him softly on the lips.

**Not too sure when I will be able to update this or my other story as I am going away for two weeks on Saturday with the kids I volunteer with for our annual camp, and I have been told there is little or no WIFI.**

**However I will be writing when I have some spare time and will upload it all when I return.**

**Keep the reviews coming, they make me smile.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the long delay in updating but as a lot of you know I have been away and really busy. **

**Apparently I made a few mistakes in the last chapter getting the wrong name for video room in NCIS and stuff like which I apologise for if it spoilt the chapter for some people. I do like NCIS but nothing like SVU so I might make the odd mistake.**

**Anyway enjoy the chapter only one flash back in this chapter and it is just Elliot and Olivia the full way through.**

Chapter 7

Present Day

Olivia lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the morning sun. She smiled to herself when she saw the sparkle as the sun reflected off the ring on her left hand.

"Morning Gorgeous," said Elliot as he stood beside their makeshift bed on the living room floor in only a pair of shorts.

"Morning," she grinned at him. "That for me?" she asked when she saw the cup of coffee in his hand. She sat up and rested her back against the couch the sheet that was wrapped around her falling around her waist.

"Erm yeah," he mumbled his eyes fixed on breasts.

"Really El," she laughed when she saw his erection pushing at his shorts.

"I can't help it," he laughed as he handed her the cup. "I have no control over myself when your naked," he said turning away and grabbing his own cup of coffee and sat down beside her, trying to ignore his erection.

"Have you spoken to the kids yet?"

He nodded as he took a drink. "Yeah I called them while you were sleeping. They are going to meet us in Washington in a few days. Maureen is going to pick up Eli."

"I can't wait to see them all," she said dropping her head to his shoulder.

"Me too," he said wrapping his arm around her. "Dickie asked…"

"You mean Dick asked."

"Sorry," he laughed. "Dick asked if we could maybe go away for a few days, all together."

"What a vacation?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah, he reckons after everything that has happened we could all do with one. And I have to say for once I actually agree with him."

Olivia put her head back on his shoulder. "I can't remember the last time I went on vacation."

"Me either… So you up for it? The kids are off for a few more weeks yet."

"Definitely," she told him.

Elliot smiled to himself. He remembered the times when she had to be forced to take time off and get away from work. "So where do you fancy? Somewhere hot or cold, the mountains, the beach a city somewhere, the choice is yours."

Olivia thought for a while before answering. "The mountains," she told him. "I want to go camping," she said looking up at him.

"Camping?" he asked her.

She nodded. "I have never been camping before, not even as a kid."

"What, never?"

"Nope. It wasn't something my Mom was into. The only vacations I can remember were to the beach where she would sit all day drinking cocktails. I have heard you talking about camping trips you have done with the kids before, going fishing and sleeping under the stars. I want to do that. I want to be miles away from anyone, just me, you and the kids."

"Okay…. Camping it is. But you can tell Kathleen, she is gonna be well pissed it isn't a beach holiday somewhere," he laughed.

"She will be fine with it," she said snuggling into his side. "What time do you want to leave to drive back to Washington?" she asked him as her fingers ran lightly over his stomach muscles before tracing a line along the top of his shorts. She heard him hiss as his body tensed up.

"I've got a car getting dropped off at midday. I thought we could leave after lunch. Maybe stop of for a bite to eat on the way. It's not like we are in a rush to get there."

"Sounds good to me," she said sliding her hand inside his shorts and running her finger down his full length before taking him in her hand and squeezing him gently.

Elliot felt himself harden under her touch and dropped his head back to the couch.

"That gives me time to sort this out," she said pulling the band of his shorts away from his waist and releasing him. She ran her finger over the tip of him making his cock twitch. She licked her lips before looking up at him. "Don't move," she told him as she dropped her head forward and kissed the tip of his erection.

"Liv…..Sweetheart, you don't have to…" He told her as her tongue swirled around his tip.

"I know I don't….. But I want to," she said pulling his shorts fully down his legs and he kicked them off. "Now shut up and let me get back to what I was doing," she said her mouth covering his tip and her tongue licking over the slit, before she took him deeper into her mouth, following her hand up and down his shaft as she took him deeper and deeper each time.

"Jesus," he moaned as he looked down and watched his cock disappearing into her mouth over and over. She had moved onto her knees and her ass was up in the air as her head moved up and down his shaft as she sucked, licked and scraped her teeth up and down him, her hand squeezing him tighter and tighter.

"That feels so good," he panted as he moved his hand down her back and over her ass cheeks squeezing them in his hand.

"Mmmmm," she murmured her mouth never leaving him. She felt his fingers brush her hair away from her face and she looked up at him and saw him watching her as she took him as deep as she could. She reached between her legs with her other hand and slipped her fingers into her wet folds coating her fingers before she began rubbing her clit, feeling her own release building.

"Liv….. Honey, you need to stop," he panted. "I want….I want to come inside you, not in your mouth." He knew from past experiences with her she loved to take it all from him and didn't hold back, but he wanted to be buried deep inside her when he came.

She released him from her mouth, "You sure?" she asked him as she continued to rub herself.

He nodded "Yeah I'm sure baby."

She smiled and rose up on her knees before straddling him her back to his chest. Elliot reached down and took hold of himself and guided himself into her as she slowly slid down him impaling herself fully as Elliot's hands went to her waist.

"God I love that feeling of sliding inside you," he breathed into her back. "I will never tire of it, it feels so fucking good," he told her as she began to move herself up and down his shaft rotating her hips as she ground herself against him. Elliot reached round to the front and slipped his fingers into her wet folds and began rubbing her clit in a circular motion. "I want you to come first," he gasped as he pushed up inside. "I want to feel you come around me, squeeze me tight inside you before I do," he growled into her ear.

Olivia knew she was close as soon as he was inside her she could feel her climax building. Once he began to rub her clit and talk to her she knew it wouldn't take long.

"Come on baby," he whispered into her. "Don't hold back, come for me….don't hold it back, just let go, I…. I can feel you want to," he gasped as her inner walls gripped him tight and her body began to tremble as she fell back against his chest her orgasm ripping through her body.

"Oh god baby….. I love you so much," she gasped as he jerked up into her and she felt him release inside her. His warm fluids filling her completely as he spurted into her over and over as he held her to him tightly as his movements calmed down.

"I love you to," he panted as he felt himself slip out of her. She quickly turned around wrapping her arms around his neck and held him tightly and dropping her head into the crook of his neck.

"We should get cleaned up," she mumbled.

"In a bit, I just want to hold you for a while longer."

"Okay," she said kissing his neck as she felt his lips on her shoulder.

"Liv did you mean what you said about quitting Special Victims?" he asked between kisses.

"Yeah….. I can't do it anymore. I can't keep putting myself in danger like that, not now I have you."

"So, what you going to do?"

She sat back slightly and looked at him. "I thought I would work at a rape crisis centre, helping the victims there. Even though I don't want to be on the streets I still want to help people. What do you think?"

"I think you would be the perfect person to help these Women, children and men," he told her brushing her hair from her eyes.

"You do?"

"Yeah I do," he smiled at her cupping her face and pulling her to him kissing her. "And it also means I get you home safe and sound every night… Now we best move and get cleaned up before we end up sticking together," he laughed as he felt the sticky mess between them begin to dry.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

**9 Months earlier**.

**Elliot stopped the bike in the car park under his building and turned off the engine.**

"**You okay?" he asked Olivia as he took off his helmet and turned to face her.**

"**God that was amazing," she grinned at him as she removed her own helmet. "I can't remember the last time I was on the back of a bike.**

**Elliot climbed off the bike and reached for her hand to help her, before taking the helmet from her and placing it on the seat of the bike.**

"**You sure about staying a little longer?" he asked her taking hold of her hand again.**

"**I'm sure," she told him. Elliot nodded and looked down at the floor.**

"**I would understand if you didn't. Your being a lot more understanding than I was when you left me and went to Oregon."**

**She reached forward and lifted his chin with her fingers. "Trust me. If you had just walked back into my life a few weeks ago I wouldn't be this understanding."**

**Elliot frowned looking at her "What do you mean?"**

"**Let's just say Gibbs has explained a lot of things to me over the last few days, to help me understand."**

"**I never meant to hurt you Liv, you have to believe that."**

"**I do El," she said squeezing his hand. "Now we gonna stand here all night or go upstairs have some food."**

"**Food sounds good," he said leading her to the elevator his hand never leaving hers. "Then we can talk," he said as the elevator doors opened.**

"**Okay," she smiled leaning against the elevator wall with him. She wanted to say something about the fact he was still holding her hand but she kept quiet. Despite everything she felt so much comfort in his touch.**

**Elliot stopped and looked at Olivia as they got to his door.**

"**What?" she asked him.**

"**You gonna let us in. Please tell me you still have my key?"**

"**Shit…. Sorry," she said leaving loose of his hand and going into her purse for his key. "I completely forgot. It's a good job I didn't go straight back to New York," she said handing him the key. **

**Elliot opened the door and walked into his apartment and sighed. "It's always good to get home," he said as he kicked off his boots and going straight to the fridge taking out a couple of beers. He took the tops off and handed one to Olivia.**

"**What?" he asked her as she watched him take a drink.**

"**Are you sure it's a good idea for you to have a drink, you know after what you went through."**

"**I'm good Liv," he smiled. "My drinking before got out of hand cause I was depressed, I drank to block things out. I don't do that anymore, and I certainly don't drink any kind of spirits or shots any more. A few beers to relax or a glass of wine with a meal is my lot."**

**Olivia nodded and took a drink of her beer as they stood in silence.**

"**Listen," said Elliot finally breaking the silence. "I'm gonna jump in the shower and freshen up, why don't you order some food, there are menus in the drawer in the kitchen. Then we will sit and talk."**

"**Yeah okay, that sounds good," she said as he walked towards her. He stopped in front of her and cupped her cheek.**

"**I feel like I got to keep touching you to prove you are here and it's not just a dream," he said his voice just above a whisper. "I would have dreams all the time that I was with you and we were friends again and happy," he told her. "Then I would wake up and realise it wasn't real…. It was like a knife to the stomach."**

"**All you had to do was pick up the phone," she said quietly.**

"**I did, so many times," he told her wiping away the tear that was falling down her face. "And most times I hung up before I even finished dialling your number, afraid of what you would say. I was so scared you would hate me."**

**Olivia sniffed and raised her eyes to look at him. "You said most times."**

"**Yeah a few times I actually dialled the full number to your apartment I would let the phone ring and then just hang up. A couple of times I let it carry on ringing and it would go to voicemail. The first time it done that my heart nearly exploded out of my chest when I heard your voice again. I wanted to leave a message but couldn't. Then there was the time when I called and Cassidy answered, I didn't speak I just hung up. God I was such an idiot," he sighed.**

"**Yeah you were," she told him covering his hand with hers. "How could you ever think I could hate you?"**

**Elliot shrugged "Because I hated myself, because of what I had done to you. I just … I just figured you would feel the same. It took me a long time and a lot of talking to Gibbs and Abby for me to realise how stupid I was. And trust me when I say Abby told me quite a few times."**

"**I never hated you El. I was pissed and hurt, but hate is one thing I could never feel towards you," she smiled. "Now go," she said pulling his hand away from her face. "Get a shower cause you really do smell," she laughed.**

**Elliot smiled and turned away from her heading to his room. He stopped at his door and turned to face her, a confused look on his face. "Liv if you were heading home today, where the hell is your stuff?" he asked wondering if she had left it at NCIS.**

"**I left it here I was gonna pick it up once I got the hire car."**

"**Okay," he nodded. "Just wondered in case we had to go back and get it."**

**Just as he was about to enter his room Olivia yelled to him.**

"**Elliot wait!"**

**He stopped and turned to face her. "What's wrong?"**

"**I err….. It's just I, when I stayed here the last few nights I …. I stayed in your room," she said blushing. "I just…. I wanted to …..Shit," she said running her hand through her hair not knowing what to say. "I was gonna come back grab my bags and tidy up. I haven't made you bed from this morning yet," she apologised.**

"**I don't mind Liv," he smiled. "I'm glad you made yourself at home. And hey….." he said as he opened his door and walked in. "At least I can say I have finally had Olivia Benson in my bed," he smirked as he closed the door behind him, leaving Olivia stunned at his remark as she looked at the closed door.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"**I ordered us pizza," Olivia told him when she saw his reflection in the large window she was looking out of. She kept her back to him looking down at the street below. She had been stood looking out since he had gone in the shower almost half an hour ago.**

"**Okay," he nodded going to the fridge and getting them another beer. He walked up behind her and stopped just to the side of her and handed her the bottle.**

**They both took a drink as they looked out the window. The sun was just starting to set.**

"**Have you told Cassidy you're staying another day yet?"**

"**No."**

"**Does he know where you are?"**

"**No."**

"**Are you going to tell him?"**

**Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe, I don't know yet."**

"**Okay," said Elliot taking another drink.**

**They both stood in silence drinking their beers as they watched the world go by below them. They both watched as a small motor bike stopped outside the building and the rider unhooked a pizza bag from the back.**

"**Looks like supper has arrived," said Elliot going to the buzzer by the door and letting him into the building, while he went to his room and got his wallet. He opened the door just before he knocked and handed him the money telling him to keep the change.**

"**You want to sit at the table?" he asked her.**

"**No….Let's eat over here, by the window," she said sitting on the floor. Elliot grabbed a couple of plates and napkins and joined her, putting the pizzas down between them.**

"**Over the last few days I have spent hours just sitting here watching the world go by," she told him as she slowly ate some pizza.**

"**Yeah I have done the same thing myself a few times," he said watching her as she ate. "I'm glad you stayed here Olivia."**

**She looked at him and gave him a small smile "It beat paying for a hotel."**

"**Is that the only reason?"**

"**No….. I wanted to feel close to you, I needed to feel close to you. I wanted to see what kind of life you had made for yourself since you got here." she said quietly putting her pizza down. Elliot put his pizza down and pushed the boxes out the way and moved closer to her as they both sat crossed legged facing each other. He reached out and took her hand.**

"**I'm sorry I wasn't here."**

"**I know you are," she said not looking up. "I'm really glad you're here now."**

"**Liv…. What happened with Lewis?" he asked her his voice just above a whisper.**

**She looked up and he saw the tears pooling in her eyes.**

"**How much do you know?"**

"**Just what Gibbs told me? I know that he took you and held you for days. I know he tortured you and killed people whilst he had you. And I know that you went all Baddass on him to escape."**

"**Well I guess you know everything then," she said standing up and wrapping her arms around herself and looked out the window. Elliot stood up with her and put his hands on her hips from behind.**

"**Liv," he said quietly his mouth close to her ear. "What happened with Lewis?"**

**She met his eyes in their reflection in the window. She knew what he was asking. Just like when he asked her all those years ago about what happened at Sealview.**

"**He didn't rape me," she told him.**

**She heard him let out a long breath and his head dropped forward and he rested his forehead on her shoulder. "He drugged me and forced alcohol into me, he beat me, burnt me and threatened me, but he didn't rape me."**

**She felt Elliot's arms wrap around her waist as he held her tightly to him.**

"**I want to kill the bastard for what he done to you," he told her. **

"**I told him you would hurt him," she said her eyes staying fixed on the street below. "I told him if my old partner was here that you would know what to do. That you would break his arms and his legs. I knew you would have hurt him like he hurt me."**

"**I would have killed him Liv."**

"**I know you would have."**

"**I should have been there for you."**

**She lifted her head and looked at the reflection meeting his eyes. "You were El….. You were in here," she said tapping the side of her head. "When I was scared and he was hurting me, it was you I seen. It was your voice I heard in my head telling me to be strong. I thought about what you would do to him if you found him. Just thinking of you made me stronger."**

"**But, If I hadn't of left he would never have got to you," he said to her. "You would never have gone through that hell."**

"**You don't know that Elliot."**

"**Yes I do. Cause no matter how many times in the past you told me you were okay and to go home, I never listened to you."**

**Olivia turned in his arms to face him.**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**Whenever I took you home or you left the station and I thought there was a threat to your life, or you were upset I would stay right outside your apartment….. All night if I had to. I made sure you were safe. I would watch for your light to go out, and then park right outside your building. I never left you alone Liv. So you see he would never have gotten to you cause I would have realised something was wrong."**

"**El how many times did you do this?"**

**He shrugged his shoulders "Any time some creep threatened you or I was worried about you, I had to keep you safe Liv, it was my job as your partner and friend, and I failed you when I left."**

"**No you didn't El. For once in your life you put yourself first and looked after yourself. You done what you needed to do. Gibbs explained everything to me," she said reaching up and cupping his face. "You had no choice but to leave and I don't blame you for that."**

"**But if I had come back sooner…"**

"**You came back when I needed you. When I needed my best friend you got in touch with me."**

"**But…." He felt the tears falling and didn't attempt to wipe them away.**

"**But nothing, El. We were both to blame for how things turned out. I could have tried harder to get in touch with you and talk to you. And you could have called me sooner once you sorted yourself out. But when have we ever done things the easy way," she smiled wiping her thumb over his cheeks at his tears.**

"**I'm gonna be here for you Liv," he said pulling her into a hug. "Whenever you need me from now on I'm gonna be here, I promise you."**

"**I'm going to hold you to that," she said hugging him back.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"**So you and Cassidy," said Elliot as they sat on the couch and their feet up on the coffee table. "How the hell did that happen?" he asked her as he threw the empty pizza box onto the floor.**

"**It just did," she told him not wanting to talk about him especially after the way he had been acting since Lewis.**

"**Are you happy with him? Does he treat you good?" asked Elliot not letting it drop.**

**Olivia closed her eyes as she dropped her head back against the couch.**

"**He was there for me," she said. "Is there for me."**

**Elliot turned his head to look at her. "That's not what I asked," he said to her. "Liv, does Cassidy know where you are?"**

"**Not exactly," she sighed. "I told him I was going to see an old friend from college."**

"**Are you going to tell him the truth?"**

"**No."**

"**Can I ask why?"**

"**Because… because, I don't want to. He wouldn't understand." Elliot sat quiet as she talked. "He is finding it hard since Lewis…. He doesn't know how to handle it. He thinks I'm pushing him away."**

"**What do you mean?"**

"**I just can't, I can't be close to him…. I …. I can't let him touch me or be close to me and he doesn't know how to handle that," she said sitting forward and resting her elbows on her knees.**

"**Liv, what the hell does he expect after what you went through," said Elliot anger in his voice. "He needs to give you time to recover."**

"**He just doesn't know how to handle it," she said trying to defend him. "He wants to be with me and I keep turning him down. It's no wonder he is getting pissed at me, I'm a nervous wreck around him."**

**Elliot sat forward and took her hand in his. "Liv, has Cassidy hurt you or threatened you?" he asked her.**

**She sniffed and shook her head. "No…. we have argued and he has stormed out the apartment and stayed out all night, coming home drunk in the mornings. I guess it's just his way of coping."**

**Elliot felt the anger building up inside him towards Cassidy.**

"**The night I told him I was going away for a few days he stormed out cause I wouldn't have sex with him."**

"**Fucking little prick," cursed Elliot under his breath.**

"**Elliot, please."**

"**Please what Liv. He is supposed to care for you, be there for you. Not pressurising you into sex. Jesus he is supposed to love you…."**

"**He does…."**

"**Does he?" asked Elliot turning her head to him. "Because if he did he would be patient with you. He wouldn't storm off at night and leave you alone. He would stay in and hold your hand, hold you to him and tell you everything was okay," he said brushing her hair out of her eyes. "He wouldn't go out and get drunk." Elliot looked into her eyes and saw only sadness. "Do you love him Liv?"**

"**He was there for me," she told him. "When I had no-one else he was there. I had no-one El. He made me feel special, you know….. I wanted a normal life for once, someone to go home to every night. Someone to fall asleep with and wake up with every morning, and we had that until Lewis….. We did, we had that," she said tears running down her face again.**

"**Okay," he said putting his arm around her and pulling her to him. "Okay," he said softly as he lay back against the back of the couch and held her. He had never liked Cassidy when they worked together all those years ago. There was just something about him that rubbed him up the wrong way. It didn't get any better when Olivia slept with him and he used to follow her around like a lost puppy. He held Olivia close to him as she cried waiting for her to calm down.**

"**I don't know if I love him," she said quietly into his chest once she stopped crying. "But I needed him in my life, because you weren't there El. When I needed someone to talk to you, you weren't there, so I turned to Brian."**

"**I'm here now Liv….. I'm here now," he said kissing the top of her head.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Elliot opened his eyes and looked at the clock.**

"**Hey Liv," he said softly. "Come on its time to go to bed," he told her as she slowly woke up and lifted her head from his shoulder.**

"**Hmmmm what time is it?"**

"**Just after 2am."**

"**We fell asleep?" she yawned.**

"**Yeah," he said standing up and reaching for her hand helping her stand. He led her down the corridor and stopped outside his room. "Why don't you take my bed and I will sleep in the girl's room," he told her.**

"**No El," she said sleepily.**

"**Its fine Liv, really," he said turning to leave. Olivia reached out and stopped him.**

"**Stay with me?" she asked him.**

**Elliot looked at her.**

"**El I just slept for over 4 hours without waking up and without a nightmare for the first time since Lewis. I don't want to sleep alone. I want my best friend beside me," she said quietly her cheeks going slightly red.**

**Elliot smiled and stepped towards her. "Okay," he said. "But only if you promise to keep your hands to yourself."**

"**I'll try," she laughed as he opened the door and she walked him and he followed still holding her hand. "I will just get changed," she said walking towards the bathroom and picking up her bag on the way.**

**Elliot pulled out a pair of shorts and a fresh t-shirt and quickly got changed as he waited for her to come out the bathroom.**

"**All yours," she said as she came out in pyjama bottoms and a vest top.**

"**Thanks," he said going in and quickly brushing his teeth, before turning out the light and going back into the bedroom. "You okay," he asked her as he walked up to her and stood beside her.**

"**Yeah, I'm good," she smiled. "So what side of the bed do you like to sleep on?" she asked him.**

"**I'm easy," he told her. "I normally kinda just spread out in the middle," he laughed.**

**Olivia thought of Cassidy and how he always insisted on sleeping on the right hand side as though it was some kind of right. "Why don't you take the left and I will have the right," she said heading to the right hand side of the bed and climbing in.**

**Elliot smiled and walked to his side climbing in and turning off the light. They both lay still on their backs and in silence, staring up at the ceiling.**

"**El?"**

"**Yeah."**

"**Before, on the couch. I fell asleep as you held Me." she turned her head to the side and looked at him as Elliot done the same. "Would you mind doing that again?"**

"**Come here," he said lifting his arm up. Olivia moved across the bed and he wrapped his arm around her and she rested her head on his chest as Elliot's fingers ran through her hair.**

"**You know," she said wrapping her arm around his waist. "In all our times as partners we only ever hugged each other a few times. We have touched each other more in the last few hours than we did in all those years."**

"**Yeah well ….. It wasn't cause I didn't want to trust me. But I was married and we were partners."**

"**And now you're not, and we aren't," she said.**

"**But you are," he sighed.**

**Olivia lifted her head and looked at him. "I am what?"**

"**In a relationship."**

"**But I'm not married," she said putting her head on his chest. "I'm not married," she said again, closing her eyes, as she listened to his heart beating and she drifted off to sleep again.**

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Present Day

"You couldn't just get a normal car could you," she said shaking her head as she climbed into the black sports convertible.

"Where would the fun in that be," he grinned as he climbed in and put his seatbelt on.

"I'm surprised you didn't get a bike."

"Oh come on Liv I couldn't do that," he said pulling away and into the traffic. "It would feel like I was cheating on my Baby if I rode another bike."

Olivia shook her head "Sometimes I feel like I come second to that bike."

"Never," he said taking hold of her hand. "You will always be my number one."

"Yeah, yeah," she smiled as she dropped her head back and closed her eyes as they drove through the city.

Olivia opened her eyes as the car stopped and stretched her arms and yawned. "We are we?" she asked looking around. "And how long I been asleep?"

"About half way and you fell asleep about an hour ago. I thought we could stop for something to eat," he said climbing out the car.

"Okay," she said climbing out and looking around. They were parked next to a small stream and surrounded by trees. "This place is lovely," she said and watched Elliot go to the trunk and take out a picnic basket. "When the hell did you get that?"

"I got the hire company to sort it out for me," he smiled. "And I asked Abby for a good place to stop, and after a little research she recommended this place."

"It's perfect," she said wrapping her arms around his waist. "Just perfect."

Elliot lay the blanket by the tree and took out the sandwiches, fruit and bottles of water. He sat with his back to the tree and Olivia sat between his legs as they ate in silence in the warm sun.

"So I never asked you, how did your last assignment go?" she asked as she finished eating and dropped her head back against him.

"Same as always, days and days in the desert watching for something to happen."

"Doesn't it get boring?"

"When I first started doing these oversea assignments I loved it. It got me away from everything and everyone, it was perfect. It gave me time to reflect on everything, but now…. All I can think of is you. My mind keeps wandering and all I can picture is you underneath me….naked….. And wet," he whispered as his hands moved under her shirt and cupped her breasts.

"Oh baby," she gasped as his hands went under her shirt and massaged her breasts. "Hmmmm, El, how secluded are we here?"

"Very," he said against her neck as his hands pushed her bra up over her breasts and he took her nipples between his finger and thumbs and rubbed them feeling them harden even more under his touch.

He watched as Olivia undone the button and zip on her jeans and pushed them down and kicked them off along with her shoes, before sliding her hand into her panties moaning as she did. Elliot smiled as he sucked on her neck and he watched her hand moving inside her panties as she touched herself.

"That good baby," he asked her.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I can't believe you get me like this."

"Like what?"

"So turned on and so quickly," she said biting down on her lip as she spread her legs a little more and slipped a finger inside herself.

"How wet are you?" he asked her breathing against her neck as his erection pushed against her lower back.

"I'm soaking," she told him. "Look," she said as she removed her hand and held it up for him to see. He took hold of her hand and pulled it to his mouth and sucked her fingers into it one by one tasting her juices.

"I love how you taste."

"And I love how you feel," she said tuning around and kneeling in front of him. She reached out and undone the buttons on his jeans pulling them open and down off his hips slightly, she smirked as she saw he had gone commando. "You better be right about this place being secluded," she said as she reached inside and released his cock from his jeans.

"I'm sure," he gasped as she took hold of him and began stroking his full length.

"Good cause I want no interruptions," she said as she straddled his legs. Elliot watched without a word as she pulled her panties to the side and lined his throbbing cock up with wet pussy and slowly slid down him impaling herself fully onto him.

"Jesus….. I love that feeling when I first slide inside you," he told her as he brushed her hair out of her eyes and cupped her face. She smiled as she began to rotate her hips and grind herself against him as he pushed up into her, her arms around his neck as her fingers stroked his neck "You're so tight, so hot and so fucking wet, it feels amazing."

They moved slowly together theirs eyes locked on each other as they moved as one. Olivia squeezed her inner walls gripping him tight as he pushed up into her.

"Fuck," he gasped as he felt her squeezing him. he moved his hands so he could lift her shirt up and took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked it hard his tongue flicking over the hard bud making her gasp as she pulled his head to her.

"Come for me Liv," he panted into her chest. "I want to feel you come around me, to grip me hard, before I come inside you."

Olivia reached down between them and pushed her hand into her panties and rubbed her clit giving her that little extra stimulation she needed.

"That's it baby," he said as he felt her body begin to shudder. "Fuck that's it, god I love it when you come….shit!" he yelled as he released inside her. Olivia felt his release and his warm fluids filling her as they both came, their bodies shuddering together as they held each other tight.

They remained still as they came down form their high. Elliot felt Olivia chuckle against him.

"Jesus Christ baby that was amazing" she said into his neck as he felt him laugh as well.

"Yeah you could say that," he said lifting his head to look at her a huge grin on his face. "We will have to do the outdoor and in public thing a bit more often, maybe on our camping trip."

"The kids will be on our camping trip," she reminded him.

"Oh I'm sure we could find some time alone," he said kissing her chest as he began to move inside her again.

Olivia moaned as she felt him harden again inside her. "El."

"Hmmmm?"

"Fuck me again."

"With pleasure," he told her moving quickly so he was now on top of her. He pushed his jeans down his legs and pulled his shirt over his head so he was completely naked. "This time we do it naked," he grinned. "I need to feel you completely," he told her as he slowly withdrew from her and quickly undressed her.

"El… what if someone comes past?" she asked. At least with the first time they had been partly dressed.

"Liv we have been here a couple of hours and we haven't seen a single person," he said crawling between her legs and spreading her legs as he leaned over her. "And If someone does pass by," he grunted as he entered her again. "They will see two people, who are completely in love with each other," he said as he began to slide in and out of her as she wrapped her legs around him as they slowly made love.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We should make a move," she said kissing his chest and pushing herself up. The sun was beginning set behind the trees.

"Yeah I guess we should," he agreed as he pushed up and reached for his jeans and pulled them o before standing up to fasten them.

They had fallen asleep in the warm sun after making love for the second time, and made love again as soon as they had woken up.

Elliot held out his hand and helped Olivia to her feet. She groaned a little as she stood up.

"You okay baby?" he asked her.

"Just a little sore," she admitted. "After Lewis and what we have done the last few days," she said stretching her back.

"Shit Liv, I'm sorry," he said stepping forward and rubbing his hand up and down her arm. "I shouldn't have been so rough, I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she told him. "Trust me everything we have done, I wanted to do. Being with you is all I need to take away the pain Lewis caused me. Your all I am ever going to need."

She pulled him to her and kissed him softly on the lips. "Now take me home, so we can have a bath and cuddle up in bed I am totally shattered."

"Liv we are going to my place, not back to New York," he said to her as she mentioned going home.

"Yeah I know."

"But you said home."

"I know what I said El," she smiled at him. "Now do as I asked and take me home."

Elliot smiled as he watched her go back to the car. It was the first time she had called anywhere but New York home.

**Hope I didn't disappoint and it was worth the wait. I reckon the story will remain M from now on to be on the safe side.**

**Next up they get back to Washington and spend time with the kids.**

**In the flashback Elliot and Olivia spend a bit more time together before Olivia goes back to Brian.**

**Just so you all know there will be no pregnancy test storyline in this story, as I hated that storyline in the episodes. Plus I just don't want Olivia and Assidy having sex lol.**


End file.
